What the other side of a hard season actually looks like – with Sam and Jen
Some seasons you do not get through gracefully. You just get through them. And then one day it is over, and you are standing on the other side wondering why it feels so quiet.
This one is just Sam and Jen. No guest, no plan, no idea where it was going to go. Sam opens up about the end of a chapter that ran almost three years and cost a quarter of a million dollars, and what it actually took to come out the other side of it still standing. Not the tell all version. The honest one, from a woman who is finally regulated enough to talk about it.
It is also a conversation about what a business has to do for you when everything else is falling over. Sam is blunt about it. If she had not known how to work her numbers, she would not have lasted. Seventeen years in, booked out, still not sure about hiring again, and finally choosing stillness over the chase. Jen brings the other half of the picture, a first six months of the year that tipped everything upside down, a business that has been genuinely hard, and why the changes she has made were measured ones rather than panicked ones.
What we cover
- Why knowing your numbers is what actually carries you through a hard season
- The real cost of a long legal chapter and how a salon absorbed it
- Building a team of people around you who tell you the truth, not what you want to hear
- Seventeen years in business and why staying still is a decision, not a lack of ambition
- Being booked out and still unsure whether to hire again
- The Monday spent filling the book and what it does to your nervous system
- Protecting your peace online, and knowing when it is safe to open back up
- Making measured changes in a hard six months instead of erratic ones
- Why no relationship, personal or professional, is a failure
- Scars not wounds, and why the timing of your story matters
There is hope on the other side. Sometimes it just arrives quieter than you expected.
Do you need to be good with numbers to survive a hard season in business?
You need to know your numbers well enough to see what your business can carry. Sam is clear that her financial literacy is the only reason her salon supported her family through three years of legal costs.
Is it a bad sign if you do not want to grow your salon right now?
No. Choosing to stay still, keep your book tight and protect your energy is a legitimate business decision, not a step backwards.
How do you make big business decisions when everything feels uncertain?
Make them slowly and on the information you actually have, not on fear. Measured changes you have sat with beat reactive ones every time.
Mentioned in this episode:
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Transcript
that business supported me and the kids as well as paying those bills. So- Yeah ... if anyone wonders why I'm so passionate about finances, it's because if I didn't have it, I would have literally not lasted.
[: [: [: [:Before we dive in, just a quick little love note from us. If this podcast has ever made you laugh, cry, think, or feel seen, please hit that subscribe button. It's the easiest way to keep the magic going and it helps us land more incredible guests for you.
Go on back, your girls, subscribe now and let's keep rising together.
[: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [:We don't know what type of tangent this is gonna take, so you're just welcome for whatever's gonna come out of our mouths. We haven't had a chat
[: [: [: [:If-
[: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [:I feel like even all the, you know, my clients would hear over years and even on this podcast, all the heartache you could hear on, in my voice behind it, and it's just all gone. Like I- Yeah ... even on the last podcast, I remember saying, "One day I'll do a tell all," and I'm just like, "I'm done- Yeah ... with that chapter," and I just don't wanna talk about it anymore, to be honest.
It's over. It finished really well. The kids are having good time with their dad now, and, you know, we've reached a point where him and I communicate really well. And sometimes these things need to happen so that like the right boundaries can be put in place.
[: [:But I can say that because my integrity was so strong in it, and because I was so honest, and because I did everything, like the way that felt like I kept me. Yeah. I didn't do anything underhanded or nasty or I wasn't vicious about anything. I constantly checked in with the people around me, was I doing things- And
[:Do you know what I mean? Like-
[: [: [: [: [: [: [:I was like, I did do that one rant. Um, and there were definite moments where I wanted to lose my mind because how anyone goes through certain things like this, if I didn't have the village I had- Yeah ... if I didn't have Lee, I don't know how we would've, like, I would've navigated this chapter because it was a lot.
And when your character is called into question, so that can be in a relationship, it can be in a business partnership, it can be- Yeah ... in whatever. When your character's put into question and you know to your core that you didn't do any of- Yeah ... those things and, or you tried to do your best, is it's really hard to, like, not want to react and defend and prove.
And I spent so long trying to prove that I realized that I, I actually can't prove. Yeah. Because at the end of the day, as long as I know that I did the right thing across all of it, I'm okay with that. Yeah. Like, I can look back now and go, I was honest, I was thoughtful in it. I constantly checked in with our friends and family going, "Is this me, or is this me 'cause I'm angry?"
Yeah. Like, am I doing this for the kids because of me, or am I doing this for the kids when I'm angry? And the same on the other part when I tried to become too loose with things. Like, I'd be like, "Oh, no." Everyone was like, "Nope, we need to pull you back in 'cause you actually have to-"
[: [:And it was a long, long chapter, you know, almost three years. And financially It was, you know, quarter of a million dollars. Yeah. It was a huge cost. And had you told me that in the beginning, I don't know how I would've, like, forecasted it and worked out how you'd make that work. But all I can say is thank- Well, I think
[: [: [: [: [: [:that business supported me and the kids as well as paying those bills. So- Yeah ... if anyone wonders why I'm so passionate about finances, it's because if I didn't have it, I would have literally not lasted. And you know, it was just all of these things kept coming into place, and because I was so integral with what I did, everything just kept coming up in my favor.
Yeah. Because it could only go that way, really. Yeah. So yeah, it all finished, and financially what we wanted to walk away with to be able to buy a house was actually not what we needed to buy a house. We didn't know that in forecast. So we actually needed more, and we did walk away with more.
[: [:was enough. So the whole purpose of fighting for this, these finances- Was to be able to
[: [:You know, stuff like that. Yeah, yeah. So again, I wasn't fighting because I wanted to live it up in Vegas. I'm fighting because I wanna buy a home for my children.
[: [:We stayed in Brisbane, and cried a lot and really reflected on a lot. I can say to anyone that's moving through anything to make sure that you have a really strong team of people behind you that aren't just doing things to keep you happy. Yeah. Or, you know, like my lawyer- Who is actually one of Jen's family members, hilarious enough, was just a pinnacle part of my life.
But her husband became that, their team became that. Like, I was fighting, you know, she was my champion. I was fighting alongside her rather than her going off or me going o- It was just like- Yeah ... I had this person through this whole chapter that was also so deeply rooted in this story that, you know, she cried when it finished, and she would be in all the, the moments and stuff with me in the trenches.
Yeah. It wasn't just, it didn't just feel like I was in the trenches. And also for me, it was also a lot easier paying someone that I adored, knowing that the money was going towards building their business and their life. Yeah. So that helped. Um, my accountant, Paris, who I always talk about, I just could not live this life without her, and she just was all over everything.
Whenever we needed it, she would just, you know... And again, all in integrity. Yeah. Nothing, no numbers were ever changed, nothing. It was everything was exactly how things-
[: [:Whenever I went into court, I have, we have a beautiful church group, so everybody would pray over the situation. So I just, especially in these last 18 months when we've been back at church, it's just- Yeah ... been like, you know, it, it just had to surrender it over, and everything happened exactly as it should, and it makes sense.
And then so that finished on the Monday, Tuesday, and then I think we bought a house two weeks later.
[: [: [: [: [: [: [: [:just terrible. We walked in, walked straight back out. We were like, "We're never taking the kids to an open home. That would be a nightmare." And then that was on a Saturday, and on the Monday Lee came in and said, "I think I found our house." And I saw it. We fell in love with it. We spoke about it all week. We were ChatGPT-ing it from the photos.
I was telling my clients about my patio. I didn't, I hadn't even been to the house yet. And that weekend we also had all of the kids. So off we went. When we're driving down the street I was so anxious 'cause I was like, "I don't want these people to go to my house and buy my house. This is my house." Got there, loved it.
Like was so purposeful, like all of the things we loved. And then one thing I've always said, again- God knows the desires of your heart. One thing I've always said was that I would do, I would die to have a fig tree in my property, and we've got this huge, it wasn't even in any of the photos. It's this huge, gorgeous, glorious fig tree on the side of my property, and just I knew then that this is our house.
Like, this was- Yeah ... the right house. So we put an offer in on that Saturday. On the Monday we put a second offer in, 'cause there was three other people wanting it. And then- And you
[: [:We talked it out with our friends that we looked at it with. And, um, so then we just put a second offer in, and then slightly more on the third offer. He sent us through the paperwork. We were like, "Have we got the house yet?" And he was like, "Well, no, you don't have the house. Sign this contract, but you don't have the house until you have the house."
Yeah. Like, until they sign. And so all day I was just anxious, and there's like I put a video up on our, my page, and I was just like anxious and pacing and blah blah. And I was like, "I've done three years of court, like, why is this day so long?" And I really wanted our whole family to be together when we got that phone call.
Like, I was like, "I don't wanna celebrate and then Lee come home." But him and I were like ships in the night that day. So at like 5:00, he's gotta take Sadie to gymnastics, and then he goes to Cairo. So it's like 7:00. Also, we never have our boys on a Monday night, and, and Lee's ex-wife rung me and said, "I'm not very well.
Can you have the boys?" And I was like, "Of course." So we also had the boys. Anyway, we all sat down just about to have dinner. It's like 7:30, quarter to 8:00, and I had said to him, "If it's a yes, can you please just send me like clapping emojis or like some emojis so I know that when I pick up the phone it's good news.
'Cause I don't wanna pick up the phone with the kids if it's not." Yeah. And yet, like two minutes later he, or like, so then we all sat down to have dinner, turned all the mu- like turned all the TV off to chat, and then like a second later he sent me through the emoji, and then I was able to get everyone on a video, so it was real cute.
But it was so nice. And then, you know, we had 10 days for pest and, uh, 10 days for finance, and all of the finance, our broker was amazing. The finance went through in like five days. But she was just able to move mountains in certain things that, you know, behind the scenes that we just, it just happened so easily.
, And then yeah, even that all just went so peacefully and we were unconditional in five days and we move on Wednesday.
[: [:And it was funny 'cause I just looked at it then, but this jacket, uh, if anyone follows me on LaSorella, it's pretty much all I wear. I either wear as a shirt or I wear as a jacket every single day, and I've never actually looked at the inscription, and I was telling a client about it, and then I looked down and it says, "No rain, no flowers."
[: [: [: [:Now it's all about being, like, super intentional- Yeah ... and really peaceful, and the Practical Magic song in, song in my background. And just, like, being at home with the kids and, you know, like, loving what I do with work, but also just being okay with, with being a lot more still.
[: [: [: [:Large, but like I can't believe it's over and onto the next we go.
[: [: [: [: [: [: [: [:And we've just had the fattest time. Like we're just enjoying each day. The weeks go so fast 'cause there's so much joy. About to go to Europe for two months, so yeah, thanks for that, Indola.
[: [: [:Were we dipping our toe in or are we just firmly retracting
[: [: [:For me, where the pressure laid was on a, on a Monday I would do all of the appointments. So if something wasn't booked, I would be anxious.
[: [:Not last week, the week before. But then last week we had appointments for a week.
[: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [:So, my health, I'm finally back on, you know, taking care of my body and prioritizing things for myself and back in Pilates and just like the littlest things.
[: [: [: [: [: [:And now I'm buying a house with this human that does all the things, you know? Yeah. He organized the moving trucks, and he organized the bond cleaner, and this morning I was like, "Can you send me Optus's details?" He's like, "I already transferred it. Don't stress. I've got this." Like, it's so cool being with someone who is so on just so many things that I don't have to think about.
That-
[: [: [: [:Yeah. It doesn't feel as hard. Nothing feels as hard anymore. So that's really nice. So nice. But yeah, we, um, went out to-- So I've had my-- So if any of you follow me and have been removed from my page, it's because before we went to court, I went through a whole paranoid season where things were getting leaked to other people and to another person.
And at that point I didn't want it to be, and there was a lot going on. So I went through and rampaged my page and took every s- tried to take every single person off. It was 5,000 people, it was a lot at that point. And tried to take anyth- one off that I didn't know. So now I'm like, "Oh, I feel guilty for that."
But then I, because I've had my page closed for a really long time because I was trying to protect that peace, and then Lee and I went to lunch one day, only the other week, and there was a beautiful group of ladies sitting next to us and I, you know, was telling them what to get and then I, as I stood up to leave, I said, "Oh, do you mind if I take your photo?
Like, if someone gives me their phone, because it would be such a nice shot. You guys look so beautiful." And a lady re- one of the ladies said to me, "Oh, um, this is gonna sound really weird, but I follow you." And she's like, "And I've really loved watching your journey. And when I walked in, I thought, 'Oh my God, it's Lee.'"
And it really made me realize that- while back then I needed to protect my peace because- Yeah ... if I had had negative energy from people even following online, if they were just like, "Ugh, shut up"- I almost felt like I could feel it. Yeah. But now I'm in the, the space of being like, I wanna show people what it can look like on the other side.
[: [: [: [:Yeah. So I'm actually really proud of where I've gone with it, and just really open if people needed that. And, you know, I've had a few friends that are going through stuff that's like, you know, watching it with Lee gives me hope. And, you know- Yeah ... it wasn't that Lee and I have had this perfect... It, Lee by no means was like this perfect prince that, you know, rode up on a horse and he's perfect.
It was two broken people that fixed each other.
[: [: [: [: [:do the watering and all that- Yes ... stuff before you go onto the grass.
[: [: [: [: [:And, you know, we've both come from second marriages, so we're both really aware of the things that we don't wanna slip and the things that, like, help us pull us back to each other. And we raise our kids together and very the same. We're the same type of parents and, so yeah. It's just a new chapter. But it, it was definitely, for me, a lot of the stuff is, is, you know, was so ego, and I say that all the time.
And I think even when I look back and I would say things aren't ego, things were ego at that point.
[: [:I wanna live up to that." I don't want people to wanna live up to what my story is. I want people to be like, "There's hope in situations that can feel so hopeless."
[: [:But I think the same in return. If something's, we've always said if something's triggering you, remove. So, like, I still to this day remove any noise that makes me feel inferior.
[: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [:You had to seek
[: [: [: [: [: [: [: [:Because yeah, it's her, she needs to control things, and if she doesn't, she spins, and it's that type of like those things in the ADHD that like you can't control that need to control things so that things feel safe.
[: [: [: [: [: [:Anyway.
[: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [:and you can understand. Like, understanding that-
[: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [:Yeah. Her entire life, I recently went back to New Zealand because, um, she turned 30, which is a milestone that is just so impressive and incredible. Mm. Mm. But I think I find in interactions with people in the world, they're like, "Yeah, so she's good now?" I'm like, "There, there is no-" There's no ... we don't get off this train.
[: [: [: [:oh, we're out, we're doing all these things. Like, and there's definitely times we try to be able to do that a lot, and that's not just with her. Like, I was really tired. I got up at 3:00 in the morning to fly home to see her for her birthday. So, like, but-
[: [:But I, I do find that- I do find that a challenging thing where people are like, "Okay, but it's better now, right?" Mm-hmm. It's like, I mean, you know, we get... And I think, and I think that is where my mentality around, well, we just get up each day and we just do-
[: [: [:every health issue that she's had. But it's not- And is continuing to have. Yeah, that's what I mean. I think that's the thing that- It's, yeah,
[: [:Yeah. It's more so the milestone of she's here.
[:You are, yes. And, but for her, she's like, "I can't see how many people I'm talking to." Like, she can talk to a room of, like, 500 people, and because she's legally blind, she has no... She could just be talking to you. Yeah. And even then she can't even really see who she's talking to. So it's that whole, um, yeah, being able to speak and speak in a way that is real.
[: [:as a survivor of, um, many of the treatments, but, like a lot of the illnesses she struggles with now are in relation to the treatments that were given to her.
[: [:And the best thing that she said- In this thing it's like, well, you're basically fucked. 'Cause his parents said, "You know, well, how do we know what to do?" It's like, you're fucked. Mm. This is an awful situation. Mm. You could do nothing, and the outcome is awful. You can do what you think is the best at the time, and the outcome is awful.
Mm. And all we can do is hope, and all we can do is our best, and all you can do is, you know, just feel comfortable in the choices that you're making, knowing that you're making the hardest choice of your life. Mm. So- And you're not doing
[: [: [: [:to get back into. That
[: [: [: [:You know, why aren't you finding a lot of horses?" Yeah. Like could be good, could be bad. And then the, a rider comes back with it. Yeah. And then he breaks his leg. But it was just like such a, it's Tracy and I say it all the time, because we have no idea whether this is the right choice. We just-
[: [:at that point, that time. Yeah.
[: [: [: [: [:Yes,
[: [: [: [:But it was really funny because I forced myself to contact the people- Mm ... that I had had this, but that completely sent me off on a spiral, and the information that came back was really interesting. Mm. So that was a challenge I set myself.
[: [: [: [: [: [:It's like, it's probably okay, right? Yeah. Like, you're the person I spend the most time with.
[: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [:And I think, too, that's, that can be a challenge that, like, you know, people freak out, and it's like you just have to keep going Keep
[: [: [: [: [: [:You know what I mean? So, um, hopefully we see that coming to fruition.
[: [:Yeah. You know?
[: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [:Well,
[: [:He's like, "Let me take this off your hands." And
[: [: [: [: [: [:And his battery was flat so 360 wasn't working. Mm. So yeah. And then I get a message, "Oh, did I not tell you I'm gonna stay?" Yeah. Like, dude. And go sleep now, thanks.
[: [: [: [: [:Just be present.
[: [: [: [: [: [:my sister a bench with it instead- ... on a, like, two-story drop.
[: [: [: [: [:You know what I mean?
[: [: [: [: [: [:And she's like, "I still haven't finished painting." Yeah. "It's
[: [: [: [: [: [:Yep. And he's like, "Yep, and then I'm gonna go do this, and then I'm gonna rip that up, and then I'm gonna do that, and then I'm gonna paint this, and then da, da, da."
[: [: [: [: [: [: [:Dirty to me. Yeah. I'm like, "I wanna be at our house just renovating. I'm so excited."
[:But when I went away recently to go home and see my family, my husband was lost. He's like, "There's just... It's real quiet." "
[: [: [: [: [: [: [: [:Thanks for listening. Bye. Peace out.
