Ashe Hornsby Returns: The Brutal Truth About Burnout, Boundaries, and Bouncing Back

 I rode the emotional waves of being like, oh, well fuck, I've had the wrong thing done by me. I've gotta fight, fight, fight. But like legal bills were like piling up and I'm like, well, how many more years of fight do I have left to like keep going? How long am I prepared to do this for? Yeah. And yeah, how much do I just want to move on?

Then enters Covid where every single person in the construction industry went like gangbusters. Yes. Yeah. And we're in our little shit. Shed, yeah. Like tear and kering away where everyone's cashing in and making all this money sometimes. The best thing you can do is bail out quicker. Yeah. And take that loss and get over that loss that way.

Yeah, absolutely. The life raft, don't wait until you are floating around in the water with the whistle. I've also learned anything that really repels me is what I need to spend more time on. Yeah, because say that again. The people at home, what was that? Anything that really repels me is what I need to spend more time on.

So if a, an employee pulls you up, you have to be learn from it and be like, okay, I have to be really strict with those things. Otherwise it will bite me in the ass. This time I feel like I'm gonna burst into flames, like perimenopausal God alone. They're all living per menopausal life. Sitting in my own tropical holiday over here, no trip to Bali required in my own life lesson is that it's okay to ask for help.

You don't have to think that you have it all under control. Before we dive in, just a quick little love note from us. If this podcast has ever made you laugh, cry, think, or feel seen, please hit that subscribe button. It's the easiest way to keep the magic going and it helps us land more incredible guests for you.

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Welcome back to the Inner Sanctum Salon, rising the podcast. Good morning, Sam. Good morning. Location number 752 I Salon Rising. I know aways in a different location, just, you know, people of the world. Um, we are actually in my sister's house and, and she's on holiday, which is so funny. So we had a photo shoot this morning 'cause we gotta update Graham because we both have different hair these days.

We have different hair every single time. Pretty much we do every single time I look at the reels of like our podcast's. Like who are these people? No, I don't even know them anymore. Guys. Evolvement. Yeah. Lots of evolving. Um, I'm excited because we promised a part two, we promised a part two and we have a part two this morning.

Now. Yes. So it's like one of those allow me to reintroduce myself like, oh hey, guess he's back. So reintroduce for the people who aren't watching, he was back. Oh, welcome. My friend Ashe. Hi. Who was on part one of the tragically Funny, funny, what's the name of, I think we called it like the most horrifically uplifting podcast ever, I think is what it was.

Well, I'm back. So she's did well. My girlfriend was like, you cancel me. Relate. My girlfriend was like, I relate so much. Every time she laughs when it's like a horrible situation. Yeah. She's like, everyone does the same thing. Like Yeah. It's so horrible. Yeah, it was, um, every so well received, so we knew that part two had to come too, but Oh, absolutely.

Um, it was, so many people had texted me. My sister obviously was like overly emotional about it and she was like, I was having a bad day and I listened to Ashe's podcast and so thank you for coming back and being part two. So having me back, yeah, I did think I would get canceled. I thought, I thought it was like a hypothetical, like we might do a part two.

No, we were doing a part two. No, but I did get canceled the first time round because we had a cyclone. Yes. Yeah. Alfred. Yeah, that was Oh, bloody Alfred. But do you know what I did do during that time? No. I contacted an insurance broker and redid all my insurance for my business because I listened to Ashe and was like, okay.

And now I know we had some other people say the same thing. Yeah. Oh, I did. I did this. How did I did this? I did something. I can't remember what it was. I don't know the life lessons learning through others. Oh no, I know what I did. I definitely did an insurance check. Oh, yes, yes. Um, but yeah, a lot of people had said that, like, I've picked up so many little tips, and that is the whole purpose of this podcast.

It's not necessarily for everybody in this same industry. It's people thinking about the biggest spectrum. Mm-hmm. You know, no matter what business you run, there is incredible little lessons with insurances and things like that. Yes. Of how you're taking care and protecting yourself that other people are going, oh, and this is one of the things that I do when we go through, when I go through one-on-one with a client, um, with our, a massive budget forms, is I'm able to see gaps in people's business because it's like zero against those amounts.

Or if I see insurance it's really low, or security in their business low, anything like that. I'm like, why is there a zero sign against this? Yeah. So these are really good little checkpoints for anyone. It's in business that should be keeping their finger on the pulse because. I think we learn from when we go through it.

So why not learn first from somebody else's experiences so that yes, if it did happen to us, yeah, we're covered. Same thing happened. A client told me one day, and this, this is irrelevant to this, but a client told me one day about how she didn't have contents insurance when she was renting and the house burnt down.

Like they burnt it, burnt half down while they were in it. The um, hot water blanket. Uh oh, electric blanket blanket. Electric blanket. Yeah. Went on fire while they were in the bed. That's scary. And half of the house burnt down. That is why I don't have an electric blanket, guys. It's too scary and exactly right.

And so she here unlocked. Yeah, you're welcome. So she said that they didn't have insurance, that they lost half their staff, blah, blah, blah. And I like woke up like three nights later at 2:00 AM and did the insurance. 'cause I was just like, you know what? I don't care if I spend money on insurance for the rest of my life.

At least we know we're covered if anything happens. Yeah. Safety net. So many learning. Opportunities from that. So thank you. Yeah, thank you so much. Welcome. We're like, we're, we're ready for the installment. Yeah. Okay. So let's do a quick recap. So in episode one, and if you haven't listened to episode one, please go back.

Yeah. Um, because it's such a powerful episode and honestly the journey that Ashe has been on is super inspiring and her resilience. Oh, the resilience. Also, if anyone hears cameras, go click, click at the back. Yes. Zoe is here. She's taking some photos. We're getting stuff for the gram. Enjoy the click, click moment.

I don't know if you will hear it though. The microphones can be pretty. I kind of like that. There's behind the scenes going here, a very pepper so packed right now. Added. Added bit of hot. You were like I didn't get told that we were getting papped while I was sitting here for this podcast. Yeah. Ashe was hot last time.

okay. So brief recap. We did: 2017

I didn't even wanna, I don't even wanna complacently go over the, you know, but we covered like the loss of a partner, the burning down of a business. Huge industry changes. Industry. Um, insurance, complete insurance mess up lawsuits. And we finished up around burning down of a business. Correct? Yeah. That's, so we're gonna come back to rebuild.

oming into this episode circa: 2020

payout, but the payout was in: 2024

I've gotta fight, fight, fight. But like legal bills were like piling up and I'm like, well, how many more years of fight do I have left to like, keep going? 'cause it's like an energy suck that just resonated with me. Oh yeah. Does, I'm at the final end of my fight and it's what to let go of and be okay with the fact that you're moving on.

Mm-hmm. Because you see numbers and you're like, but that's not, that's not what I should. Yeah. But it's like, how long am I prepared to do this for? Yeah. And yeah, how much do I just want to move on? Yeah. And I very much have the mindset of, while I absolutely love and adore money, please come at me. I attract all within, um, I still also have the money comes.

Money goes. Yes. Yeah. So life lesson is that you can't replace people and things like that. Yeah. But you can be at your financial high and something like this can happen and then it kind of knocks you off. Your perch humbles you and then realizes then you realize, sorry, that you know, I can do this again.

ot appreciated. Yeah. Um, but: 2020

So not only did we have to rebuild with clients, we had to physically rebuild the premises and find somewhere to temporarily be while that was happening. So there was a lot going on in that regard. And how old were the boys at this stage? The boys at this stage were a hang on. Six and eight. Yeah. Six and eight.

So yeah. Let's also let everybody know that you are still a full-time mom on your own. Yeah. You have a partner. He's amazing. And he's got a little boy too. Yes. Yes. So you're raising the three boys together, but you are still raising three small children at this time. Going through all of this, doing all of that also still.

Going through the stages of, I guess grief would always come up for the three boys because they've all lost a parent, so that's huge. Plus all the emotional, so all that emotional pressure plus. Mm-hmm. All the financial burden, all the rebuild burden, all the, but I also know that you are ferocious when you need to rebuild and there's nothing, there's, you are just like, let's go.

Yeah. Which I'm definitely grateful for being able to have that very systematic mind in a bad situation. Mm. I don't get overwhelmed in that time. I actually get overwhelmed with like, really like basic things that shouldn't bother anyone. Yeah. Like, I don't know whether that's because, but I think that's be, yeah.

Yeah. I think it's 'cause everything's so heightened. Yeah. That then like a small thing will really like trigger me and I'll be like, but why is that so hard? Yeah. And then like, I think you like lost a little bit. I think though this is, uh, an important fact because. For any hairdressers that are listening or anyone in our industry type of industry that's listening.

Sometimes people come to you and they've had all of this stuff go on, and then their hair, or their f fringe or their blonde or something is the pinnacle moment that if it is not perfect that everything crAshees down. Yeah. And I've seen it quite a few times in the salon, and I think it's also a good time to change their hair.

Yeah. When something's wrong in their life, which it's not, never, never, it shouldn't, shouldn't be changing anything. No. When you're in the thick of something, I think when you've, um, overcome it, yes. You might be like, new me, new vibe. Yes. But if you're in something, don't touch your hair. Yeah. They like chop it off or Gly dark.

Yeah. And then, and then that is, I've seen it quite a few times and then they'll come back and be like. I'm so sorry. I was just going through a lot. And then that one moment of their hair not being exactly how they thought and that that was gonna refresh them and make them new, sends them. So I think that's, I'm that person, just so you know.

Yeah. I'll be like, let's put in long black extensions. Yeah. And I've actually had to have like full conversations with my hairdresser, be like, if I ever asked to do this, don't you. Don't allow me Yeah. What's happening in your life right now? Yeah. Just, it's just a no. Yeah, just a no. It took you three years to get back to a nice blonde.

h. So, okay. Um, but yeah, so: 2020

Oh my gosh. So then it took things like. Six times as long to do like the simplest of tasks in that we then were losing clients because it was taking so long for us to do things and we were losing money because we couldn't put our prices up because we still had to be competitive. Then enters Covid where every single person in the construction industry went like gangbusters.

Yes. Yeah. And we are in our little shit shed, yeah. Like tinkering away where everyone's cashing in and making all this money. And also if you guys go to the Instagram you are, it's incredible. That's stone that you do. So it's not just like a. Oh, it's a, you know, we do do that too. And I think, I think that this is actually something really interesting to Oh, good to touch on, is that we were so, um, over the, and we are actually dealing with this now.

Yeah. Okay. That we have been so proud of our high end luxury work that we've almost tapped ourselves out, out of. People think, oh, I can't go, I can't go to them for my, you know, standard range, 20 mil, two square bench top because they only do the big fancy things. Yeah. So it's like when um, you know, like if you are a blonde beard specialists Yeah.

Like, are you deterring to brine from going to Yeah. 'cause they think, oh, well they just do blondes. Yes. So we're in a very much of a. A, um, a rebranding phase. Yeah. Of being able to, of course we can do it because we do the high-end stuff. I was like, I look, I, I saw all the stuff that like, 'cause you've got the most beautiful Instagram with the most dreamy houses.

And I was like, I'm really glad that she's my friend. If ever I build a kitchen, I'm going there and I'm gonna be like, give it to me at cost. Yeah. That happens a lot. Um, but, but it, it's true. And you know, while, you know, there we're in kind of a e economic downturn that people are being quite frugal with their money, the cost of living's really high, that some people are, you know, still would like to renovate, but it's not necessarily their, their their dream kitchen.

It's not that they're doing like their block kitchen. Yeah. You know what I mean? So they're just doing the bathroom for now because that will bring some happiness to, sorry, I interrupted. All right. So go back to Covid when everything was gangbuster because I just wanted everyone to go and actually look at.

At Ashee's Thank you. Page at Hot Rock because it is stunning. Thank you. Like I love looking at it, love looking at all the photos, love looking at all the kitchens, like the work you do is truly beautiful. So I love living through other people too, where I'm like, that is nice. I'm saving that one. And then I'll be like, we did that, we did that.

And that's the piece that makes, you know, the kitchen bench, the top, the, oh it is. That's the piece that makes everything, yeah. And I just wanted to truly give you snaps on that because it's not, when you say we're going back to the Stone Age and we're doing everything like this is like incredible work that you do to complete kitchens and stuff.

So it's, yeah, it's pretty cool. Go and have a look. Thank you. Okay, so it, which obviously like the beauty industry was not doing well. Yes, in Covid when all of the restrictions and stuff came in, but in the construction industry, we were very much considered essential workers, so we did not close. At all.

Yeah. During Covid we were fully open, um, again, lost more team members because I couldn't deliver as much work. Yeah. Um, people were feeling really insecure about their job. Yeah. Um, for Covid, but then also knowing that our factory was tiny and it used to be massive. And so like, uh, do I have a job? Do I have my job security?

And so then, you know, people that had been with me for either a shorter long amount of time had beautiful conversations with them, um, where I was like, I will do everything in my power to keep you, but I understand that you have to look after yourself and your family first. Yeah. And there's no love lost, there's no, um, burnt bridges.

Like if, if and when our business gets to be what it was, and you wanna come back like door, door is open and that's the hardest thing is. Going through for any business owner that went through Covid or any business owner or new business owner that's listening to this, when you go through something like that, something like Covid, which none of us ever saw happening.

But even little things like Cyclone Alfred. Yeah. As business owners, it's like A-P-T-S-D. We don't know at that point what we're doing either. Mm-hmm. So I am, you've gotta be really transparent and be like, I know as much as you do, so you've got a whole team that's anxious. Mm-hmm. You don't know what the government's gonna do.

You don't know what. Mm-hmm. And the thing that I can say is don't jump to anything. Don't be like, I'm gonna pay everybody's wages. Or don't be like, I'm gonna pay nobody's wages. Don't over yourself. Don't over commit yourself verbally. Yeah. Because you do it in order, in panic order to try and fix everything.

And then you look back and you're like, that was a bad decision. 'cause the government client might come through and in Covid helped us all. Mm-hmm. And you don't know when that's coming. So if you've also overcommitted yourself to being like, I'm gonna pay everybody all of this as well. Mm-hmm. I can't do anything.

So sometimes the best thing to do is be really transparent. I'm gonna do this, but if this is gonna happen, then I'm gonna do that like as. And just really sit on it. Yes. And just keep reassuring your team that you will support them and take care of them. Mm-hmm. But right now you also don't know what this looks like.

And it's day to day. It's the day to day. It's a day today. Especially in something like Covid, which literally w had never happened. Never to anyone. Yeah. And obviously the fire had never happened to me, so, and then my husband dying, had never happened. And like all these things that just like never happened.

So I was like, my team was very much on this ride with me. Yeah. There was a lot of firsts for them Yeah. As well. And so, you know, I think that they trust in the fact that I always am honest Yeah. And transparent and will give it my best shot. Yeah. And was including them in the problem solving as well.

Like, do you guys have any ideas? Yes. Like, you know, who can do more, who needs to do less? Who's feeling scared themselves? Yeah. You know, as a business owner, we carry a lot. But when it's also the team and they're the sole income earner for their family, they're also carrying a lot of responsibility that can Yeah.

Um, and I think even after the fact, like I've had to have conversations with the girls via the cyclone because they hadn't, they didn't go covid with me. Mm-hmm. And even after the fact, I'm like, okay, if anything ever happens again, this is how you need, this is how, if you are feeling scared, communicate more with me.

Mm-hmm. Like, you know, I've got you at all times. But when you are caught up in the anxiety and the height of that mm-hmm. Everyone's brains just shuts off and they're just all for what is happening. How can they control their lives, fight, flight, you know, it's fight or flight. So you've gotta like really step up as a leader and be like, I'm okay.

We're okay. I've got you. But they're gonna keep having flip outs. So for anyone that's listening, that's normal. Your team will do that no matter how good your team is. Yeah. Everybody will feel this way. Mm-hmm. And even I think if you are an employee listening to. This, it's also nice to sometimes consider things on the larger scale.

Mm. Yeah. So an employee that possibly didn't work for three days, that's a huge impact on their day-to-day life. But as a business owner whose business wasn't operating for up to five days, because for, say, for example, yourself, you don't operate on the the weekends. Mm. And then there was three business days where you were closed as well.

For us, that's getting into the six figures of lost income. Mm-hmm. And then I still paid my employees. Mm-hmm. Based on what holiday they had. And even though it wasn't a holiday as such, I don't have any income for that week. Mm-hmm. And I still had offerings for my team to take. Mm-hmm. And that, that, that's a huge hit for us.

Mm. As a business that's already come in at the start of the year with the slow, a slower start than usual. Mm-hmm. It's so interesting because I had this conversation with my husband and because obviously we've got the cell on now, it's like bringing that different perspective to him. Mm. And I uniquely had that other perspective because I think I was deeply invested in the wellbeing of my best friend.

Mm-hmm. That's what you worked for, your best friend. Yeah. So it was different because Jen always thought about my side because she was like, oh, this is not just someone I work for. Yeah. It's someone I love is for care. This is someone I love and I care. And I also, and I was also very always transparent with Jen.

I could say things that I can't say to other people. Yeah. So she would be like, I see the fact that. I may have lost two or $300, but she's just lost 10 grand. Yeah. Yeah. And I, it was funny because having that conversation with him and he'd come home and the circumstances with his work, and it was like, okay, but look at it with us.

So we've just closed and we've got no money coming in. If we had staff, how would we pay them? Mm-hmm. He's like, oh yeah, shit. Yeah. I'm like, yeah. And, and it's different for different people and, and also. People have massive businesses, multimillion dollar business, government jobs. Yeah. They're all, of course, government jobs are of course covered.

It's government. We cover them. Yeah. Yeah. You're welcome. You know that 40 grand saving the world one tax bill at a time. Bomb it. That was amazing. Oh my God. It's, we cover it. Yeah. Enjoy your time off. It's funny. It's true. We paid it. Um, but it's true. So on the outside to other people, they'll be like, but my partner got paid.

It's like, yeah. But your partner doesn't run a small business where they're just trying to keep everybody afloat. Yeah, and I'm, and as you said, coming off. And especially we've seen it in this industry mm-hmm. Coming off a quiet beginning of the year. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So you may already be 10, 20, $30,000 under mm-hmm.

In our industry, you a lot more mm-hmm. Under what we need to make. Mm-hmm. And then shut us for three days. Yeah. Yeah. Where we can't make any, and I'm like, an is coming, there're more closure. We're open, only open three days for those weeks. Yeah. So it's, and you're thinking ahead too, like you're not just thinking in the, the current moment.

Yeah. You're like, okay, this has actually affected March. Yeah. And they were three, four days that I wasn't accounting for, and now there's gonna be an additional three to four days. Yeah. 'cause of, um, Anzac Day and Easter. Yeah. But I'm like, fucking hell yeah. Yeah, yeah. Give us a break. Give us a fucking break.

Government just comes through and give us some of our tax money back. But I also, the first thing I did was I jumped straight onto fair work to know what me expected I, me, me. Yeah. So I didn't over promise and under deliver, which also then can create, you know, uh, a lot of. Tension in the workplace when you renege on something.

Yeah. Because you found that information the later. The other thing I feel about it too, and I can say this from experience, is we are deeply connected and love our team. Absolutely. So we want to do these things and then when we do those things sometimes and then they don't get appreciated how we think.

We want them to be appreciated 'cause going above. 'cause they don't know we're going above and they're just like, well it's a business. So Yeah. Sweet. It's just some extra money for me. Yeah. It may have cost us a couple of thousand dollars. Mm-hmm. And it may make them a couple of hundred. Mm-hmm. But like that's actually taken us quite out to do that.

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. That I think that's important too, is don't do it if it feels like, oh, I can't do this. I'm stretching myself and if I do it, I need all of the appreciation. Mm-hmm. Because you won't get it because they're all so stressed. Yeah. And that's also the key thing. When my business partners entered the business, I.

Said you have to learn to emotionally detach. People are always gonna do what's right for them in the end. Mm-hmm. Yes. And you can't take it personally because it isn't personal, it's business. Mm-hmm. And so you, you can be so offended or some small comment or some text messages, like rude. Yeah. But at the end of the day, I try my best.

Yeah. And it's not about me trying. Yeah. It's about them having to do what they have to do. Yes. Yeah. And us about doing what we have to do. But we live in the fear that they're gonna quit. Yes. So if we don't do it, yes. They might leave. Yes. They might ring fair work. They might do this. Yeah. So I have an external HR consultant that's a dream and.

Because it is like HR is boring. Yeah. So if you're a HR consultant, my best friend's a HR consultant, I'm like, our new HR question. Yeah. Like, let me just confirm this, but it, it's priceless investment to have someone that's all over it. Yes. Yeah, exactly. Right? Because it can come back later. Yes. If you just think, well fuck 'em.

Yeah. And then they're like, well no, actually you can't. Yes. You can't just say that. You can't just do that. And I just, I think I've had this conversation with one of my clients this week. I think the important thing about this is regardless of whether we like it or not, regardless of knowing that fair work is always for the employee.

Mm-hmm. Regardless of all of that stuff, all of the stuff is there. So we have to abide by it. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So you can't get cranky when a staff member comes back and goes, yeah, but what about this? You have to be like, okay. As hard as that is to take sometimes, because I give so much, I don't need to give.

Yes. That's not in fair work. Yes. And I'm hoping that it comes back and counteract, counteracts that. Yeah. It's not gonna do that. So if a, an employee pulls you up, you have to be learn from it and be like, okay. Mm-hmm. I have to be really strict with those things. Mm-hmm. Otherwise it will button me in the ass.

It's really fun. Like it comes back to that thing we say all the time about, um, if you're discounting something Yeah. Then say yeah. Mm-hmm. Like, so if you like, and, and it's always like, don't do something for the need of what you need to get back again. Mm-hmm. It's like, okay, well if we are going over above, it probably needs to be known that that's not just the normal.

Yes. And it needs to be said, but you also just can't do anything. Feeling that you need something back from it. Yeah. You have to be comfortable. No expectations. Yeah. No expectations. And I do now, from 17 years of having a team, do include when I'm doing something outside of the ordinary for that perspective.

Yeah. Because they don't necessarily know that either. Yeah. And I'm assuming that they do. And even when you, um, made the non joke joke about mates rates for a kitchen. Even when, um, 'cause my brother works with me, he's the estimator at our business when he's like, oh, well what's the, what's the, the discount?

Yeah. If a, a friend or family member comes, um, through the business, I always say, put the recommended retail price on there. Absolutely. And then put the discount on there, because sometimes mm-hmm. They might just not even realize like, that's 500, a thousand, $2,000. That's $2,000 that could have been mine.

Yeah. Yeah. That I'm offering as a discount just because you are my friend. Yeah. And I think we always make a joke about that, right? Mm-hmm. But I think the same thing in our industry. How often are you discounting people that can't. And this sounds awful. They do back, but they can't ever do it back. Yeah.

Yeah. They can't ever actually do it back, and they just expect to mm-hmm. A discount, but can't ever do it back. Yeah. Whereas it's not a nice energy exchange. No. It's not like, like I, again, that's a vacuum. I would always mm-hmm. Expect to pay full price. I was joking about that. About that. No, but I'm, because I would always, because you come to my salon and you pay full price.

Yeah, yeah. So what you pay actually, and you were like, never in a million years will you discount me. Like, I'm happy to pay, I'm paying anywhere or like I'm paying someone else. But that's, but like, that's the mentality that we've gotta get because sometimes it's different if you can do counter, like if you go somewhere and they discount you and Yeah.

You know, because I completely appreciate that. Mm-hmm. Even the other day, I went to a restaurant our client's own, and they weren't working, so I just, and she was like, I can't believe you didn't tell me you're coming here. I'm like, I'm never going to expect you to discount me. No. If you discount me when I'm there, when you're working, cool.

But I'm not gonna tell you I'm coming like up. I'm coming in for my discounted lunch today. Like, can you please? And she was like, no. And there are people that do that just Yeah, they are. They definitely are. And just like have a little self-reflection moment and think about when are you able to ever.

Return that Yes. In a, not in a, A must do. Yes. In a way for a really nice energy exchange. Is it a bunch of flowers? Yeah. Is it a bottle of wine? Yeah. Is it a big acknowledgement? Yes. That I'm actually never able to return this in any way and it's still continually offered to me. Yeah. I love that. Yeah. Yeah.

Just because I like wine. Yeah.

All the people that she is discounted, all her friends, I'm gonna have a she life. She likes a specific wine. Don't bring her a bad bottle of champagne. She will send it back. This will not do bad energy. We went to dinner once and they were like, we're gonna offer you this bottle of champagne. And she's like, looks real kind.

But I'm not gonna drink that. It's terrible. It's a terrible bottle of champagne. Take it back. I don't wanna, don't it on us. Don't in fact don't waste it on anyone. Which is nice I guess that I was being kind of ungratefully honest, but anyway, moving along. Um, but yes, I'm told I'm ungratefully honest a lot.

Yeah. But it happens. It does. Yes. I think it is those things. It is appreciating the fact that you are. Getting a discount. Mm-hmm. Because simply you No. And love them. Mm-hmm. You know? So do something. It doesn't have to, as you said, just do something to appreciate that if you are doing or Yeah. Or someone's, you are, someone's doing it for you all the time.

Mm-hmm. They're constantly giving you a discount on certain things. Like think of them and do something that you know, it's just like, Hey, I really appreciate that. Thanks dude. Yeah, no, totally agree. I feel like though, I think this was very valuable. We may have gone off track a little. Okay, let's, okay, relax.

Yeah. Okay. So it's still in: 2020

No, never. Okay, so you are rebuilding the business. Yeah. So Covid hits and while on a business level, we were missing out on all the big deals, what actually was something that. Really hit us hard is that there was a delay in getting materials. Oh, materials. Yeah. So my six month rebuild of the factory took two years.

ack into the premises in, um,: 2021

Something I will touch on is also my mom was terminally ill during Covid, um, which was really distressing based on how isolated she was Yeah. And how we were not able to really be through, be there for her through kind of the last years of her life. Mm. Which I think anyone that did lose someone during Covid, um, was very, very traumatic.

Or even having family members that lived in nursing homes. Mm. And not being able to visit them, they already lived such an isolated life. Mm. To then even remove visitors was really, really heart heartbreaking. Was so heartbreaking. Yeah. Um, my mom was first diagnosed with cancer six weeks after horn passed away and she was terminal then some amazing surgeon in, um, Brisbane.

Looked at her case, said, I can operate on her. Did an amazing surgery on her liver, took it out, chopped it all up into a thousand pieces, removed all of the cancer, sewed it back together and put it into back into her. And then she was in remission. Wow. Which was just timing wise to have that glimmer of hope that, you know, I'm not gonna lose two key people in the same year.

Your mom and your husband. Yeah. Um, I also really struggled to be there for her because I had so much going on. Going on Yeah. For myself. Yeah. So when she was rediagnosed, um, and where the tumor was this time. It was inoperable. They couldn't do an operation again, and she was in an immense amount of pain.

And while, um, the cancer didn't, she didn't actually die from her cancer, she chose to go into palliative care and to stop fighting. Yeah. She hated chemo. She hated the quality of her life. She was such a sparkly, amazing woman that loved her holidays and her time with her grandchildren and a rose in the sunshine and going out for dinner and dancing and doing all that sort of stuff.

It sounds very much like your mom. Yeah. I don't know where I got it from. So weird. So weird. You're pretty much describing yourself. Very similar laughter to It's scary. Um, and all that was stripped from her, so we had a pretty deep conversation because her husband was adamant about fight, fight, fight.

Yeah. Yeah. And I had a conversation with her and she was like, I cannot, I. I cannot do this anymore. Yeah. Um, and I said, well, that's really brave of you to do that for yourself because at the end of the day, it's your quality of life. Mm. You know, we are here to support you no matter what. And it is draining on the family too, to have hospital visits, chemotherapy, um, especially during that time.

It was so hard to you, like so much red tape are those things where you would normally go with support that you weren't allowed to and you had to go through and the, the mental toll mm-hmm. On someone who is already. Struggling so much. Mm-hmm. Was horrific. Yeah. And my mom was afraid of getting sick because one, yeah, she could die.

This was before she had made her choice, but she, before that she was sp afraid to be near the gran, her grandkids, which were everything because of their germs. And they were at school and like, you know, COVID and her immune system just couldn't handle anything. So, you know, she wasn't spending time with anyone she cared about.

use of the immune system. But: 2021

was like August to October of: 2021

And I, for some reason, thought it'd be a good idea to open a restaurant, um, which it wasn't a good idea. HAshetag don't do it. Um, at this time she also opens a restaurant. Yeah. Yeah. But I think that this was my over, I don't think anybody sitting here could judge, because I feel like we've all got the potential to do something like that.

sorry, in, in August, uh, of: 2021

And then my partner was going through a lot and it really challenged our relationship. He wasn't really able to be there for me because he was so incredibly, um, scared and so much uncertainty in his own life and our future. Um, that, yeah, it was just a fucking mess. Mm-hmm. Like that was probably. Again, the un the uncertainty for someone that likes to be in control is like the ultimate, um, kicker to be able to just be a sitting duck.

And I, this is where my love of patience grew. Yeah. Because I was not a patient person at all. You have so much patience now. Like, I'm like, but then what happens? You're like, I just have to wait. Yeah. And when we get to 20 24, 20 25, we'll start seeing the waiting, paying off. Yeah. The waiting has definitely paid off.

Okay, so that was, so: 2021

It's the time. Time to shine. Yeah. It's our time. We're in our heads anyway. Yeah. Okay. And that's when the real re rebuilding phase. Commenced. And if I'm being completely transparent, it's still happening like nearly three years on. Yeah. Now like, 'cause what I said earlier is business is business. So while I had some beautiful lifelong clients and friends, they still have to do what's best for their business.

Yeah. And we weren't able to service them in our usual capacity. So they had to use us for some jobs, but then use another stone mason for other jobs. And then they create relationships with those people. And you know, they're not my blood, they're my clients. Yeah. So they, I have appreciated that people just gotta do what they gotta do.

Yeah. Uh, and that's probably what's been the most challenging is that now it's. It's like, well, we're ready to shine. Yeah, yeah. Let us shine. Yeah. Finally this little ladder, man. But yeah, so it, and it's hard now I'm on, like what? I said I'm like having to pivot my business model. Yeah. A little bit to accommodate, because we've done all these amazing projects that people have trusted our, trusted my business with their beautiful homes and their, you know, gorgeous granite or whatever it is, and we've nailed it.

But in that time, it's kind of like deterred, just your average. John and Jane Smith who just want their little bench top put in. Yeah. Like we can do it. Which is still the constant cream that's coming in. Yeah, absolutely. It's bread and butter, so it's sort of like a blow dry. Yeah. Might not be the most like interesting thing, but having five of them in a day.

Yes. Yeah. Great. One hour in an ounce. Yes. Thank you very much. Yeah. Nothing can go wrong with the blow dry. Yes, yes. You know, and very rarely can anything go wrong with a little 20 mil kitchen. Yeah. Okay. I love that. So in every industry you have your bread and butter where you like, I just take it, take it.

Yes. Might not be my favorite. Might not be very stimulating, but love it. So 20, 22 year. Yeah. That was the year of the, the cafe. Yep. Yeah. So that was your year. It's like this year it's all gonna happen. So that was when you decided to throw the cafe into the mix? Yeah. Well, I, I had, um, a very long-term friend who was in Sydney who had been very skilled, uh, chef had been locked down there for ages.

Really wanted to move back and I was like, oh, I'm looking for another revenue stream. Ended up being a revenue suck. But, uh, lesson learned, it ticked it off. The bucket list was young enough to recover from a big financial loss that it was, and very big lesson for me that. While I got really caught up in the aesthetics of the business.

So, you know, having what it looks like and it was divine and it, before I even knew it was yours, I went and loved it. It was divine. It was divine. And it did tick the brief, but I should have known better in the sense that I didn't logistically know how to run a cafe. Mm-hmm. And, and I, I remember a comment of you being like, fuck Joan is whinging about her $6 muffin.

Muffin not being, or coffee, Eden's still traumatized about the $6 muffins, the complaints. And Ashe was like, you know, where she's dealing with the business in such different capacity. Yeah. You know, like you're dealing with granite, which can be. You know, multi figures and it's like, ma, it's a massive business.

And then you go to like Joan being angry about a $6 muffin not being up to scratch. Yeah. And we will have clients that spend like a million dollars with us, and they're the coolest, relaxed, let's sort it out together people. And then to see someone so worked up that they didn't have their sugar. Yeah. In their coffee.

Just ask nicely, doll. Yeah. I'll go and get it for you. Yes, no problem. Yeah, so, and I've, I'm a big foodie. Yeah. So this didn't come from nowhere. No. Yeah. I, I love entertaining, I love people. I love what food and drinks do to people. Um, but it's was mainly something that I really wanted to do, and I always felt that that was taken away from me with Horn and his career.

Yep. And kind of slipping into like being a stone mason. And I was like, oh, you know, this is, you know, I've gotten the business back to where it it was, which it wasn't, but in my head I told myself that I'm gonna try something else. I can do both. I can do it all. And realistically, no, I couldn't. Mm. And I learned a huge lesson from that.

Even now when something's presented to me as an opportunity, the lessons that I learned in that failed venture and losing that money, it now has given me a different perspective of how I don't get overly excited about things and not in a negative way. I still have like the cautiously optimistic. Yeah.

Yeah. I, I'm dotting my i's and I'm crossing my t's to make sure, like, am I just going from my sacral? Like Mm, yeah. Yes. I'm so excited. Or have I actually, you know, done a safety check that is this the right thing? And how long did you have the cafe for? I think 18 months. Yep. And then pretty much, I think I met you just as you were like, get this me the fuck out of here.

Yeah. Get this cafe out of my fucking hands. Yes. What were the fundamental things that went wrong with that choice? The fundamental things Joan and her coffee. Yeah. Joan and Coffee been a muffin. Uh, would've been. One, I have a whole new appreciation for hospitality too, because they, the government needs to step in and restructure their business.

Say for example, everything that you sell in a cafe has GST on it, but everything you buy does not. Mm. So your tax bills are freaking crazy. So if you are not selling a lot of alcohol and making a huge markup and stuff like that, if you buy, um, like, because what you're selling in a cafe is like lifestyle products.

It's fruit. Yeah, it's vegetables. There's no GST on those. If you go and check your dockets when you do your Woolworth shop, there's nothing on that. So unless something has been, like, for example, milk, flavored milk, GST milk from the cow, no, GST. Oh my God. Yeah. So it's like whoever made these rules up, like there should not be any GST in hospitality.

Mm. Yeah. Yeah. Or there should be 5% gst Yeah. Or something because they're literally buying hardly anything that has GST on it and there's nothing to offset it. And they're already in such a small profit margin. Yeah. That like, again, a muffin by the time someone, that's why a muffin is $6. Mm. Because by the time someone makes that muffin Yeah.

Carries it to your table on a plate, then serves you, then turns the electricity on, then takes your muffin plate back, wAshees it. That's why it's $6. But I think too, uh, for anyone that's listening to this, 'cause I think it's like you and I know G too, so well. Mm-hmm. It's hard to get your head around. Yeah.

But obviously when you are saying. Everyone pays. GST. Like so even they come into the salon, everyone pays. G we know we have to pay gst. Mm-hmm. So if you've made 10 grand in a week, 10% is a thousand dollars. That's your GST for that component. If you have spent, you know, $5,000 on stock, that component, and you've paid GST on that, that that component of that GST to the GST you pay helps to balance each other out.

Yeah. So you won't have to pay a thousand dollars, you might pay more. So something like 500, 5 5, $600. Yeah. Yeah. So when Ashe is saying that you pay GST in. Um, as a cafe on that $6, you pay GST on that. Mm-hmm. If the, and it's not, plus it's included. It's Yeah. Included because nothing is $5 40. Yes. Yeah. So in construction it's the price plus, plus GST.

Yeah. So in hospitality it isn't. Mm-hmm. And it just gets wrapped in, like it does with hair. And then if there's no GST on products, there's, it's literally if you made $10,000, there is a thousand dollars in gst. Mm-hmm. So it's always almost double for them because of the fact that they can't offset it.

Yeah. And it, it's a really, um, high, highly paid industry rate. Mm-hmm. Which I didn't know that. Mm. So again, not a lot of profit margins. Yeah. So there, there was a lot, and the lesson was, I didn't know enough. About it before I jumped in. Yeah. I didn't run the costs of like, what was going to be, you know, rent plus insurance, plus work cover, plus payroll plus.

the first lot of floods, the: 2022

Mm. So, yeah. That was great.

rt three, we got through like: 2020

So there was a bit of trial and error with him wanting to do the business on his own, which unfortunately didn't work out for him as he was a chef and didn't have any business skills. Business skills, yeah. And it was just too much and too overwhelming. And that was a really big lesson for him as well to then being like, we need to like wrap this up before, like we've already lost, especially me, a lot of money.

We need to wrap this up before it becomes completely unfixable and does some like serious damage. Yeah. I think this is such an important point because we have people that come to us when they are so far in Yeah. That I'm like, you almost should have looked at it. Yeah. As you did, you are like mm-hmm. If we keep going mm-hmm.

This show is going to get so bad. Yeah. There's no coming back from it. Mm-hmm. Sometimes the best thing you can do is bail out quicker. Yeah. And take that loss and get over that loss that way. Jump the life raft. Don't wait until you are floating around in the water with the whistle. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah.

Absolutely. 'cause if you think you, I can get ahead, I can get ahead and there is no logical way of being able to actually get Yeah. In front. Then you are better to bail out and have to deal with the consequences outside that. Yeah. Yeah. Because if you keep going, you are just gonna go further and further and you don't know a logical way to get out.

Mm-hmm. You are just gonna keep going down and down and down. And I had never had a lease before. Mm. Well, like not in the last 10 years. So when we signed the lease for where the cafe was, Ooh, that was a scary lease to get out of. Yeah. That was literally holding a gun at you like, we've got you. Yeah. Until you find a new tenant.

Yep. Um, till you come out of arrears. 'cause we were in arrears. Yep. Um, and then also they were like, and if the next tenant doesn't work out we can come back and get you like scary. And I wasn't reading that 'cause I was caught up in the hi of I'm gonna have a cafe. Yeah. Wow. So huge lesson in read the fine print if you don't know what, again, common thread I should have learn from the insurance policies.

Um, but like yeah, you need to know what you're signing, what you're guaranteeing, like we've said before. Yeah. There's been a podcast where someone died and then they had to. Keep paying the lease. They had to keep paying the lease. Yeah. Even in the, the, even though the person had died. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Yeah.

People are awful. So again, like you have to look at all these things. Yeah. Yeah. And it's not glamorous and it's not fun. And it, as I've also learned, anything that really repels me is what I need to spend more time on. Yeah. 'cause Say that again. Drew the people at home. What was that? Anything that really repels me is what I need to spend more time on.

So if you hate doing your figures. Mm-hmm. You have to spend more time or you hate doing your budget or you hate looking at it at least. Mm-hmm. Or you look hate looking at, you have to spend more time on. I love it. Can I share my little figure, hack go, because Yeah. I am such a geek go. And this is something that I do throughout multiple businesses that I've chime in on with friends and whatnot, is zero is so accessible to you.

Yep. And if you ever want some perspective on how you're actually tracking, if you think that you're doing well or you think that you're doing bad, jump into zero, go to your profit and loss. Literally do your year to date. So today is the 2nd of April. So from the, the 1st of July to the 2nd of April, click on that.

It'll bring up how you're tracking. Then go into the section where you can, um, compare to years previously ly previously. Yep. And then I always do three years. Yep. And obvi with covid and stuff that's nearly gone outta the equation where you can see like true figures. Go through that and check things. Mm.

What is your staff costing you? Mm. What are your supplies costing you? Mm. And work out whether that is a normal increase. Has your turnover increase? Has it declined? If something's higher, you will be able to figure out very quickly what is wrong. If you just open that up, highlight anything that is significantly less and highlight anything that is significantly more.

If you also don't understand it, you if you should have a good accountant mm-hmm. That can literally, yes, bookkeeper. So my account, my bookkeeper, or my account, my account, I don't really understand Xero. Mm-hmm. And my accountant will come to me with it. Mm-hmm. And be like, so this has dropped. Mm-hmm. But this has dropped.

Mm-hmm. This has dropped as well. So you are tracking exactly as you were. Mm-hmm. Or she'll be like, this is heightened, but this is heightened. Mm-hmm. But this is heightened, so you are good, you're tracking. Mm-hmm. Because you are going to have ebbs and flows in your business. Yeah. You're gonna have times where.

You don't have as much staff. Mm-hmm. So your profits, so your mm-hmm. What you are earning is way less. Yes. But then your profit's tracking the same Yeah. Because you've got reduced, reduced, smarter, not harder. Yeah. Smarter, not harder. Yeah. You'll have other times where you might be making a hundred, 200, $300,000 more.

Yeah. No money. But the staff goes up, the tax goes up, your suppliers go up to everything raises as well. Mm-hmm. So it's looking at that and not so, and going, you know, I am making less, but I have less expenses, or I'm making way more, so I must be killing it. Mm-hmm. No, babe, your expenses are way more And you stressed.

Stressed. Yeah. And you just, yeah. Stressed. Yeah. More money, more problems. That's, that's usually like, yeah. More staff, more problems, more money, more problems. Especially like Yeah. In business. More tax, more staff. Yeah. More payroll. Yeah. Like just, yeah. It's everything. But it's so, it really is so easy to do that.

Yeah. And if you need support doing it the first time, get your bookkeeper, get your accountant to talk you through it. I do that every two weeks. Wow. When I'm in like freak out mode, I probably do it daily. Wow. Which is not healthy. Yeah. It's me being like controlling this to be like, okay, not all. We invoiced like a hundred grand today.

Yes. Okay. That's good. That's changed it. Wages are tomorrow, but so that's gonna change it. Yeah. So, but it's just also to keep that perspective that sometimes you think things are going really good. And again, the bottom line's not great. Mm-hmm. Or you think things are like really slow and your bottom line is great.

Yes. And you're like, oh, well I'm very comfortable here and if I can keep doing this with a little bit more extra cream. Yes. That's great. Yes. I can encourage the team to sell some more products or, you know, sell a treatment or whatever it is to just generate the, the add-ons without taking on a whole new client.

. Mm, love. Okay, so we're in: 2022

Yes. And it was like an eight month process. And at that point you were like, I'm gonna be, I'm gonna, you, I met you through doing a business coaching situation. You were like. I'm gonna also be a business coach, so Yeah. Like I will, I will teach people through my tragedies and my triumphs and then you were like, fuck that.

I just wanna cruise. Yeah. I was like, why the fuck did I do that? Yeah. And I also am a, I can do anything type of person. I was like, that seems fun. Yeah. Like I can help people. Yeah. Maybe that's my calling. Maybe all this shit has happened to me so I can help people. Yeah. Nah, nah.

A little bit. Things like this for but like showing up every day. Nah. And so the tank's not full yet. Yet I'm not overflowing, I'm not ready from the outside. You have more than ever learned in these last couple of years to be okay with giving yourself more time. Yeah. And actually taking your hands off.

Yeah. Because you said to me when I said, come on this, you're like, I don't do anything. What do you want me to talk about? It's more so like you are learning how to reprogram your system. Mm-hmm. To actually deal with all the trauma that you went through. Mm-hmm. And then also be okay with slowing down and not having to add more to your plate.

Yeah. And interesting enough, since you've done that, all of the things that you've been patiently waiting to come to fruition mm-hmm. Have started to fall into place. You know, the insurance has done the stuff with Eden, stuff all settled. Mm-hmm. Like everything has slowly come back to you. 'cause the universe is like, slow down.

Yeah. We can't keep up with this. Yeah, absolutely. I wholeheartedly agree with that. And it was very much the, the my little slogan that I had like three, four years ago that I heard in a podcast that has stuck with me. But I didn't listen to it, but I repeated it. Mm. Like I repeated it to other people like, you should do this.

But I wasn't actually taking on and it was simplified to amplify. Mm. I love that. So you can be so much bigger by simplifying things. Yeah. You have space for so many other things when your schedule from literally. For a few years there from the minute I woke up to the minute I went to sleep, there was, I was like adrenaline junkie like all day.

Yeah. But I just got used to it. Yep. And then I really had to deprogram that Yes, that doing nothing is okay. Yes. And to be fair, I've made the same amount of money for fucking doing nothing than I have from like being like a full adrenaline, like junkie must do everything all the time. Can't let anyone think that I'm failing.

Yeah. Like I don't wanna ask for help. I don't want any support. I don't wanna do that. But this has taken you years, years, years. Years, yeah. And I'm really bored, like, don't get me wrong, but you also have a lot to process like. I feel like I'm a real bored, don't buy a restaurant real bored. Yeah. Don't, yeah.

Don't do it. But then, then this is again, where I'm more like, how do I fill my time without overcommitting myself to something huge? Yeah. So Asheer's at the point where everyone wants to be at, where you don't need to be in your business. You can keep an eye on it. You are looking at like, you are pivoting in it and stuff like that, but you don't need to be in anymore.

No, no. So you're like, not in a daily time, so what do you do? I'm like, Hey, do you have time to do this? You're like, I've got time to do that. Every day you just tell me what so bored. Tell me what time I'm so bored. Don't ask me what time. You tell me what time. I was like, can I have a little bit of that?

Because I am in the space where I am and you are in the, the, the, the thick of it. Fight or flight. Fight or flight at the moment. Yeah. Yeah. And it, and it, and it's a hard stage. And especially when you don't have an end date. Yes. It's really, really hard. Yeah. But I think. It's been incredible to watch you be like, I need to learn how to slow down.

And you have slowed debt slowed down and it is incredible. Yeah, I've, I'm like, yeah, I've been so slow. I think I was asleep, like I needed to like shake myself up a little bit because I was spending a lot of time at home. I was spending a lot of time by myself and I was actually becoming maybe like. A little bit depressed.

ah. Noticed it mid last year,: 2024

m. Yeah. So yeah, it was the: 2022

Yeah. Okay. A bit of a clean cleaning house. Yeah. Love that. Cleaning internal house. Yeah. And now I'm just figuring out what is next for me without the pressure of a financial, um, for me, purpose was financial related. Yep. So like, I didn't wanna do something if I wasn't gonna make money. Yep. So that's why like, I can't have a hobby.

aspire to have. Um, but yeah,: 2025

Building my house. Yes. Which has been five years. Because you've got a house. I have a house right now. So it's a shed house, which is amazing. On this incredible block. Oh yeah. It's so, so cool that the kids just like live their life, their life there. It's incredible. Yeah. I'm itching to get out of the sh and yeah.

t set of, um, design plans in: 2020

Yes. Which makes me happy. And that's gonna be a big job anyway. Yeah, that's, you get to pull your passion time. Yeah. Yeah. And your passion. Yeah. I live right next door, so I'll be like, Hey guys, I'm here every day. Yeah. They're gonna be like, bitch, get off the job site. We need to remove her. Yeah. Go get a hobby bitch.

But yeah, I guess the, the who turns out my hobby is project management. We quit. They're all like, we quit, we're out. She's crazy. Yeah. They'll just be like, could you like make us lunch? Yeah. Yes, I'd love to. That was actually my dream to make sandwiches so therapeutic. Making a sandwich. Just like layering things.

Okay. So whoever wants to do Ashee's build, just know you're gonna get fed. Lots of sandwiches. Lots of sandwiches. And that potato salad with the pickle juice in it. That's a good one. That is a great one. That's a cracker. That is a cracker. Please. Also, anyone at follow Ashe? It's just Ashe Hornsby, isn't it? Uh, no, it's with Love Ashe.

Oh. With love Ashe. With love Ashe. Follow. She always puts hilarious content. Yeah. When I feel like it. When she feels like it. Yeah, because it's all about space, guys. It's not about doing it, it's about the space. No, I know. And that's an effort too. I'm like, what am I posting on here for? I don't care. Then I say something funny.

I'm like, I will share that. It's funny. The pure content. I love it. Final words, final words, um, in my own life lesson is that it's okay to ask for help. You don't have to think that you have it all under control. Know that you can have a bad day and a full meltdown, and every day you can pop your head on that pillow and wake up and the next day is a new day.

Could be worse than the day before, but, but it's a new way you're awake, but it's a new one way. You're awake and with awareness, acceptance, you will, things will get better over time. Mm. And some things are not an instant fix. It does take years. Years. And patience. Patience. And. Gumption. Yeah. Lot of gumption.

Lot of gumption. Scrub action. Yeah. Thank you. I honestly feel like we could've done another two hours 'cause there's so much, like as you said, we got off track, but there's so much gold in No, so good. So much gold in all those little pieces that I just, there's a reason why you had a podcast for so long because you do have so much incredible knowledge.

So in 12 months you'll come back on the podcast, we'll do parts and we'll what happens? Make an annual, we'll have to do an eat in one as well. Yeah. My God. That'd be interesting. All it's appropriate. Thank you guys. Thank you so much guys listening. I hope you enjoyed part two.