The Answer Was Always Connection – with Brooke from Paper Rokk
Some episodes stop you in your tracks. This is one of them.
Sam & Jen are joined by one of Sam's closest friends and hair besties, Brooke Wolf from Paper Rokk. For a conversation that is as honest, warm and real as it gets.
Brooke has built her salon business over 12 years through some of life's most defining moments. Loss, burnout, single motherhood, a new build and now navigating the early days of a significant personal change. And through all of it, one thing has kept showing up as the answer.
Connection.
This episode explores what connection actually looks like in business and in life. The connection you have with your team, your clients, your closest friends and yourself. It is a conversation about showing up for people in ways that matter, about the salons that save us when everything else feels uncertain, and about what happens when you finally let yourself lean into the people around you instead of pushing through alone.
Brooke's story is one of resilience, self awareness and grace. And her reminder that we are in the business of connection, even when we forget it, is something every salon owner needs to hear.
What we cover
- Brooke's journey from heartbreak to building Paper Rokk over 12 years
- Opening a salon after loss and figuring it out as you go
- Running two salons, burning out and knowing when to let one go
- Navigating separation as a business owner and a mother
- Why grief doesn't stop, it just moves with you
- The difference between sending a text and actually showing up
- How your salon can save you in the seasons you least expect
- What connection really means for your team, your clients and yourself
- Why saying yes more often can change everything
- The glass balls and the plastic balls, what you let fall and what you don't
The answer was always connection. It just takes the hard seasons to remind us.
Timestamps:
00:00 Episode Summary
02:33 Meet Brooke Wolf
03:27 Friendship And Support Crew
06:27 Starting A Salon After Loss
09:27 Second Salon And Burnout
12:15 Closing Palm Beach Lessons
13:43 New Space Pregnancy Chaos
15:07 Group Chat Lifeline
19:20 Separation And New Chapter
25:43 Grief While Leading
28:49 Finding Joy In Small Moments
32:37 Saying Yes Again
34:31 Glow Up And Bucket List
35:44 Better Apart Realizations
36:45 Trauma And Overworking
39:13 New Hobbies And Joy
42:57 Friendship Web Story
46:13 Connection Over Everything
51:02 Salon As Safe Haven
56:21 Business Lessons And Team
59:03 Show Up For People
01:05:30 Grace In Breakups
01:08:30 Co Parenting And Closure
01:10:02 Final Connection Reminder
Mentioned in this episode:
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Transcript
it's not the hair, it's not the beauty, it's not the eyebrows. It's all about how you can connect with somebody else so that that person feels seen in a world that's getting lonelier because of technology.
[:And just trying to understand or connect or making them feel heard is so important.
[:You might be like, oh, that person's been a mole. And really you never know that their entire world behind the scenes is falling apart and they just can't speak about it.
[:Mm-hmm. It just moves with you.
[:[00:00:49] Brooke: I know that everything is a lesson. Yeah. So I'm not really mad about things happening or me being upset. I know that everything that I feel and does happen is gonna end up better.
[:[00:01:02] Samara: Yeah.
[:[00:01:05] Samara: and connection's. The best bit of life.
[:[00:01:19] Samara: Before we dive in, just a quick little love note from us. If this podcast has ever made you laugh, cry, think, or feel seen, please hit that subscribe button. It's the easiest way to keep the magic going and it helps us land more incredible guests for you.
Go on back, your girls, subscribe now and let's keep rising together.
[:back to the inner Sanctum Salon rising the podcast hello Samara.
[:[00:01:44] Jen: Samara, we
[:[00:01:45] Jen: formal. Sorry about that. It's
[:[00:01:47] Jen: Hey Sam.
[:[00:01:52] Jen: Yeah, no you didn't and I was really impressed.
[:[00:02:00] Brooke: I doubt it.
[:[00:02:05] Samara: you know, before it was like formal guest. Now one of my closest friends different.
[:[00:02:12] Samara: Yes. The
[:[00:02:13] Samara: to you. I'm very, very, very excited that one of my hair besties and life besties is on our podcast. Brooke Wolf. Finally, Paper Rokk
[:[00:02:24] Brooke: Thank you. Thanks for
[:[00:02:28] Brooke: Paper, rock.
[:[00:02:30] Jen: Even you paused on it. You
[:[00:02:32] Brooke: we're copying her.
[:[00:02:37] Speaker 10: Hi.
[:[00:02:39] Samara: Hi. Hi.
[:[00:02:40] Samara: Hi. You're
[:[00:02:42] Samara: I'm let like Jen ask a lot of the questions today because like, generally I've done life with you for so long.
Yeah. You know, and even Jen was like, oh, where are we at? Where are we going into? And I was like, you know what? I'm just gonna let it unfold with you and Brooke. And we're just, I'm just gonna let you, we are just doing the ride. Be. Yeah.
[:[00:03:01] Samara: Is
[:[00:03:02] Brooke: No,
[:[00:03:03] Brooke: nothing.
[:[00:03:05] Samara: Oh, RA, let's go. Go for girls.
[:[00:03:07] Samara: So Brooke and I have been friends for like seven years. No, because Foxy was a baby.
[:[00:03:16] Samara: Yeah. But it was before Fox.
[:[00:03:18] Samara: So maybe, I think that's
[:[00:03:19] Samara: or nine. Eight or nine years. Wow.
[:[00:03:21] Samara: We met at a, we met officially at a, um, thing that we went to of course, hair thing.
And then from there we were like, did we just become best friends?
[:[00:03:32] Samara: Inseparable,
[:[00:03:33] Samara: Um, so we've kind of done business side by side for a long time with our other girlfriends who also will be on the pod over time. They
[:[00:03:41] Samara: they better be. Bridgette's already been on them.
Been on. Yes. So we've got two more to go.
[:[00:03:46] Samara: Um, and I always say, you know, and I've spoken about my little crew that I have a lot, but, you know, just having different opinions from your friends or just literally, you know, I've had times and I've spoken about this, you know, where you've had like, I remember having a review come through and I was just like, you know, I don't know how to feel about this right now.
And then, you know, Brooke will come on and voice note and just be like, dude, it's fine. This, this, this. And oh, I can actually move on. Yeah. You know, or it's like, how are you guys doing your bonus structures? Or how are you guys doing this? Or how are you handling this? You know, when we went through COVID or all of those things, just to have this little support group that you know you're safe with.
[:[00:04:24] Samara: That, you know, they understand your personal and professional life. It's so valuable.
[:[00:04:30] Samara: sure. And Brooke has been that for me in so many areas of my life for so long. So much so that Brooke was actually the one that also didn't mean to introduce me to Lee. So bless you. You, I love you for that.
Um, didn't mean to put her in an awkward position. So Brooke was friends with Lee and his ex-wife and me and my ex-husband, and then all, all of a sudden, you know, it was meant to be. So, you know, thank you. I was in the middle. I was a teenage
[:[00:04:55] Samara: Yeah.
[:[00:04:58] Samara: Whose parents broke up and then all of sudden
[:I dunno why I feel like this now I'm gonna get left out and
[:I
[:[00:05:06] Samara: no, it's
[:[00:05:07] Samara: It's even that, it's so like, you know, what friendship and life and business can look like and it's, you know, where we were eight years ago to where we both are now. Like we've both built, built new salons and we've both gone through or have gone through or going through.
Very hard personal lives with a lot of mess in between, but you know, staying true to what is most important with motherhood and business and stuff like, it's just, I just adore you so I'm so excited for you other people to like know you and feel your warmth and be able to share this journey as well in all the big and all the little.
[:[00:05:45] Jen: had one heel of a journey, like business perspective wise. Like obviously there's other stuff and we'll talk about that too, too, but like if we just while you were talking about that and you think back over the years and it's like from the original salon to the two salons to the new salon, to the like the whole like talk a little bit about your journey as a business owner in the industry to start off with.
[:So
I moved to the Gold Coast from my little farm town in Victoria and then came up here, worked a little bit, moved back there, and then was like, absolutely not for me.
Moved back here and then, yeah, I started the salon because I had a, um, stillborn baby and I didn't know what to do after that. You're a bit lost, you know? So, I was just like, I came home and I was like, oh, there's a baby room and there's a this and there's a that. And I had nothing. I was just like, what do I do?
Thank God I already had my other daughter. So yeah, I just, we went downstairs walking. I was crying and I saw the salon and I was just like. Well it wasn't a salon, it was an empty space. It was all shell. The whole building was new. Um, we just lived upstairs of it and I was like, that is gonna be my salon.
And yeah, I went straight into reception and I was like, yep, we are doing this.
[:[00:07:26] Brooke: I do.
[:[00:07:28] Brooke: that's where it happens.
[:[00:07:31] Brooke: Let's not move through this. Let's just move over it. Yeah, I know. That's,
[:[00:07:36] Brooke: distract. Take up
[:[00:07:37] Brooke: yeah, I know. So that's what happened. That was number one. That was number one. And I had no idea was, I was doing, was the people from the beginning?
Yeah.
[:[00:07:47] Brooke: I, it was in, and they built it very fast. Everything happened very fast. I had no idea what I was doing aside from to do hair. That's it. I had no idea about staff, no idea about business. No idea. About tax, no idea about anything. And from there it just went up, down, up, down, up, down, up. So yeah.
[:Doing, having a little girl and doing the salon.
[:[00:08:16] Samara: Lonnie's how old now?
[:[00:08:18] Samara: 14?
[:[00:08:23] Samara: Yeah.
[:[00:08:25] Samara: And you lived
[:[00:08:27] Brooke: yeah. And you were just So I would just like have her in the business. Where was your, have her in the, where was your
[:[00:08:32] Brooke: Around the corner of,
[:[00:08:34] Samara: building.
[:[00:08:37] Samara: around the side.
[:[00:08:39] Brooke: And then we outgrew it and I was like, we have to move to the front. And as soon as I signed that paperwork, the next day, COVID happened.
Oh God. And I was like, oh, well here we are.
[:[00:08:57] Samara: Well, that was in between that.
[:[00:09:02] Samara: Yeah. Okay. So you had one at Southport and one in Palmie.
[:[00:09:07] Samara: So what made you decide to get the second salon? You were like, I probably went through some trauma.
I
[:[00:09:13] Speaker 4: oh,
[:[00:09:22] Samara: I'm like, Brooke, why are we building a salon in Melbourne? You're like, trauma. Trauma
[:We turned it into one and it was just a little tiny little.
[:[00:09:55] Brooke: In Palm Beach, and I was like, I need that space. And I had two employees. I had no, I was not, I had no money. I'm already running a salon, salon with no money and two employees. And I was like, yep, we're doing it.
[:[00:10:13] Samara: just what I do, isn't it?
[:[00:10:19] Jen: though it worked out.
[:[00:10:22] Jen: let's maybe not advocate for doing that.
[:[00:10:27] Samara: This point don't,
[:[00:10:32] Samara: all right, babe, we're gonna, there's a lot of therapy.
This, this is where we're gonna put ourselves into these things. Yeah. We're not gonna do, that's gonna be like, oh yeah. So I bought a, a farm and
some
donkeys and I'm now the owner of four. We can
[:[00:10:45] Samara: that. Yeah. Yeah.
[:Yeah. It was hard, but it was fun. I think the thing is, we talked about this the other day. I love like designing so much. Yeah. And I think that even for that one and the first one, my whole thing was that I wanted to design a salon and then I just had to look after it.
[:[00:11:14] Brooke: So it wasn't the actual Yeah.
Um, it wasn't the initial, but yeah, then I did it and I learned so much with the Palm Beach salon. It was amazing. There was that every week another salon would pop up right out the front of our salon. Um, but it was, yeah, it was a lot.
[:[00:11:32] Brooke: And then I got really sick 'cause I was burnt out from doing both for too long.
And then, and then I got pregnant,
[:[00:11:41] Samara: had
[:[00:11:42] Samara: to
[:[00:11:44] Samara: have not meant to me doing anything. And then
[:[00:11:46] Brooke: Oh my God. Yeah. Then I found out. Yeah. I had all my thyroid issues with that one. It was just a lot. Yeah. It was a lot. I
[:[00:11:54] Brooke: a
[:[00:11:56] Brooke: I closed Palm Beach and it was really hard.
I felt like I'd failed, but I knew that I was going, so I closed Palm Beach to move both the salons into the Southport. I just love having one salon and having everyone together. It was really hard. Um, you know, trying to balance everything. I'm like such a, I'm with my team, like I want to be in there and I couldn't be in both.
It was really hard for me. Yeah,
[:[00:12:28] Brooke: It's
[:actually
[:[00:12:29] Samara: much growth.
It's so like, I think in this too, is when you have your friends that have got you and they're like, you know, every time I will get on, I'll be like, Ugh, does this look bad? And Brooke's like, no man. Like, you know, or we'll be like, no, please, like close the salon. It's the best thing for you. Yeah. Who cares what anyone else thinks?
But when you have this crew around you that are like. It's not it, you let people think what they want to think. It's not Yeah, you are good. We've got you
[:We had a lot of clients for the amount of team we couldn't, it was still, still tiny. Couldn't make it any bigger. Um, and then, yeah, it was, it was actually a big growth. But you do still feel like, I mean, I guess you're probably looking at the people that think that you've failed, but really it wasn't that it was actually that it was the right time to sell it and go on to the next.
Yeah. Yeah. And it actually worked out great.
[:[00:13:27] Brooke: the big one that you're in
[:[00:13:28] Brooke: Yeah. Six
[:[00:13:29] Brooke: uh, no, four. I was pregnant with cross On opening day I found out that I was pregnant.
It's my life, honestly, when you talk about it like this. So on opening day, I was getting ready and I was so sick and tired, and we were having a big party. And um, yeah. I was like, I'm so sick. And then someone said to me, I feel like you need to take a pregnancy test. And I was like, no.
[:[00:13:57] Brooke: And then I did, and I was pregnant.
So then I had to just, oh my goodness. And then the next morning we had to fly to Port Douglas for a L'Oreal thing. I'm just like,
[:[00:14:09] Brooke: Ill, so ill, so you just gotta keep going, don't you? That was
[:Yeah. So we all, and Rachel's like, no, thank you, Rachel.
[:[00:14:25] Samara: don't drink the water. Like even at that point, all of us were going through children
[:[00:14:32] Brooke: sickness and everything. Sickness and
[:[00:14:34] Brooke: Yeah.
[:[00:14:35] Brooke: I know. All together.
[:[00:14:37] Brooke: Yeah. And then we all had.
[:[00:14:40] Brooke: leave.
[:[00:14:41] Brooke: Together.
[:[00:14:47] Brooke: Mm-hmm.
[:When can we put this in? But there's just so many moving parts as soon as you add businesses and babies and babies and life, and it's like, how does everybody bring, you know, everyone's just doing such different things. But I think if you have those open group channels, it can be a savior Yeah. To your mental health at those points.
And
[:[00:15:19] Samara: without that. True. Also, people just don't know. You just never know it. It can be go, it can go quite a while and that we're quiet and all of a sudden you're like, something's up, you know, and you'll come over or I'll come to you, or, you know. Tegan will show up or you know, something happens and you're like, that's the person I needed at that point and, and I know I'm okay and I can get through this because you have other people that are doing Yeah.
Have got full faith in that you can do this. I've got full faith that I know that you're going through the worst, but we're here. We'll get you through it and we'll support you whatever way we can. It's so powerful.
[:[00:15:53] Samara: Mm-hmm.
[:[00:15:55] Samara: just a little group of cheerleaders.
[:[00:15:58] Samara: Where are you at? Where are you at today? Where's Brooke at today?
[:[00:16:05] Speaker 11: today.
[:[00:16:15] Samara: Yeah.
[:[00:16:21] Samara: Fine. We're moving forward.
[:[00:16:24] Speaker 4: alright.
[:[00:16:25] Brooke: no, I am in a new chapter now.
[:Exactly. And you just don't know what they're currently, you are like, you might be like, oh, that person's been a mole. And really you never know that their entire world behind the scenes is falling apart and they just can't speak about it. Yeah. Or you internalize so much what someone thinking or maybe saying, and instead of you being like, hold on, this may have nothing to do with me, which is 99%.
In fact, it probably
[:[00:17:07] Samara: with you. You, you know, you, you, we never know what's going on behind closed doors. It was something that was massive with me for a long time, but also I think we are. We go through these times, you know, again, you went through the most horrific time losing a baby and you've gone through other situations like that.
That wasn't just the single thing you've gone through so much. I think that it makes us these different people that are allowing us to connect with our clients in a different way. Mm-hmm. Because when you've walked that journey, no one understands more than somebody else that's walked that journey with you.
Yeah. And sometimes they, they have these like little soft little things of knowledge that they'll give that day. And it can be something that's so transformative to you. Just those little nuggets of support or whatever it may be, that sometimes it's really hard from the outside. 'cause you're like, why am I going through this?
Why is this so hard? Why am I people putting through it? Why all these tests? And you realize, oh, they've really shaped me.
[:[00:18:03] Samara: To who I am and how I can be with people now, and how I can make a difference to my client's lives, to my staff's lives to my children's life. I think it's pretty
[:Absolutely. Yeah. So I think that everything.
[:[00:18:17] Speaker 3: Are
[:comfortable talking about what the change that
[:[00:18:20] Jen: through?
[:[00:18:22] Jen: Yeah.
[:[00:18:23] Jen: So for the listeners at home, you are transversing through.
[:[00:18:31] Jen: Yeah.
[:you
know, I think that you put yourself in, in, in relationships, you either grow together or one grows and the other one tries to stay down with them.
[:[00:19:06] Brooke: Um, and I really feel like I just sort of tried to stay down a little bit. It didn't feel like me anymore. Um, and I think he could see that too. So it just wasn't, it just isn't, just isn't our future.
[:[00:19:27] Brooke: Mm.
[:[00:19:28] Jen: Oh, hectic. So we are, just to be clear, we are gonna navigate this one.
Yeah. We're not just going like, buy farm off. Wait.
[:[00:19:38] Samara: Brooke's like, as soon as you said farm,
[:[00:19:46] Jen: designing a
[:Just came clear on. I
[:[00:19:59] Brooke: No, I ran away from the farm. I'm not going back, but yeah. Um, sorry, what was the question?
[:question
is how's it going with the business? What are you navigating this stuff? It's early too. Like, I'm gonna give, give snaps to you.
I, if we look back at old podcast while I was navigating this bit, it was just like, I reckon I was like, you
[:[00:20:21] Samara: Welcome to Ellen Rising the podcast.
[:[00:20:24] Samara: this is our guest. Yeah. And like, you know, looking back now, everyone could see it was like traumatic, but, you know, I didn't really,
[:[00:20:33] Samara: it's so bad I didn't really come alive.
I don't think I came along alive until I met Lisa. Thank you for that. Um, I really don't think I came. Oh, I came alive just before I met him. Yeah. So it's so much. I think that this personal aspect of talking about business and personal life,
trying
to run a business and pretend that you have everything together and pretend you know what you're doing and pretend you know how you're gonna, you know, work this out while your personal life is you don't what you had in your future, what you knew, what your life was like, what you knew, what to expect.
It's completely gone.
[:[00:21:11] Samara: And but you are still really tied. It's not like you can run away to a farm in America. Like what you are tied to is so strong and you have to start
[:[00:21:21] Brooke: Yeah. I was like, actually, yeah, I could challenge accepted because I feel very, like I can fly wherever I want right now.
I feel very empowered in like, I can do whatever I want right now. So yeah, I don't, I probably will. No,
[:And it not that the grief stops like that. It's not like, oh, you've grieved it. Move on. The grief keeps coming in all different. Sorry. Love you. Good to know. Um, the grief keeps coming in all different areas, not necessarily the grieving the person anymore. You just, you, you.
you, you
just
grieving in different ways.
The life that you thought that you had life. Exactly.
[:[00:22:09] Samara: vision that you thought, the relationship with that person that you thought would always be okay.
[:[00:22:13] Samara: And all of a sudden you're just not, you just can't stand each other. And it's, you know, but in all different ways, you know, I've seen it go well and I've seen it go horrifically wrong, horrifically wrong.
Um, but then you've gotta just, and I look back and there's probably a lot of times I didn't handle that well. But you are just a person.
[:[00:22:34] Samara: yeah. Living a really personal life.
[:[00:22:37] Samara: In a really personable business.
[:[00:22:40] Samara: And you've gotta be like, looked upon by everyone and, and
[:I've never wanted to be fake. I feel like that's what's good about us. We can just be vulnerable and real. But you also are leading a team, you know? Yes. So you've gotta put your big girl boots on. Not that I have in the past couple of weeks, but you do have to. And you're also, you're all your kids are, need you to be strong.
So you can't. Really, although I have taken this time, which I never have before to grieve, um, the relationship or the person is still there.
[:[00:23:17] Brooke: He's still alive.
[:[00:23:20] Brooke: grieve the, the future I think it is. Yeah. Well, the relationship, you know, it's been 12 months of me really trying to make the relationship work, so I kind of was grieving that apparently threw out.
He didn't even know that was happening.
[:[00:23:32] Brooke: tell you how often that happens. I have watched so many things now that yeah, apparently the man doesn't really know what's going on until he's fully out or whatever. But by then we're already done because. I've
[:[00:23:46] Brooke: off, we've,
[:[00:23:46] Brooke: therapist said that to us.
[:The therapist said, what we see so often is the women, he's like, was, he's like the women grieve. Was there ever a point, she was really angry. Was there ever a point She was really sad. And then was, was there a point where she was really vacant and the men say yes. And he is like, well, there's the grieving he where you're begging
[:[00:24:05] Samara: to grieve in this relationship.
[:[00:24:08] Samara: And now we're out the other side, and now we're, we're out the other side. It's like, okay, I, I'm okay to move forward. And they're like, oh, what?
[:[00:24:17] Samara: Yeah. That makes sense. I don't, but also, I don't really ever, no. I thought we were fine. Absolutely.
Until that last day. You're like, really? This is fine. Yeah.
[:[00:24:33] Samara: Yeah.
[:[00:24:35] Jen: I think there's a perception though, that.
Grieving in any form requires you to stop completely.
[:[00:24:42] Jen: And that is absolutely unrealistic. No.
[:[00:24:45] Jen: Like,
[:[00:24:49] Jen: You still, no matter, grief isn't something that you sit down, you sit with, and then you get up and walk away from.
Mm-hmm. It just moves with you.
[:[00:24:58] Brooke: Yeah.
[:[00:24:59] Brooke: And you can just come stronger.
[:[00:25:13] Brooke: Yeah. I know on my team, I feel like this is the first time that I've actually stepped away and just been like, I can't, and let them do it. But you also, which has actually been really good for them, I think,
[:[00:25:27] Brooke: know? Oh, once brand new.
[:you're
like,
I'm yet to meet them.
[:my team's been amazing. Like amazing. I couldn't have ever, even just personally, they've been amazing. Um, but yeah, my manager that I just got, as soon as I got it, it all happened and she has just had to just walk in without me there to tell her what to do and just do
[:She's been great.
[:[00:25:54] Samara: yeah,
[:[00:25:56] Samara: Yeah.
[:[00:26:03] Samara: Yeah.
[:[00:26:07] Samara: Yeah.
[:Yeah.
[:Yeah. And you've gotta, like you and I talk about all the time, what are the glass balls and what are the plastic balls? Yeah. You know, what ball are you letting fall? And in, in situations like this, it's not your children because children going through the same things as you are going through. And it is so much navigating to make sure that they're feeling really safe and seen and things aren't, you know, falling apart for them.
So you don't have the luxury of back in the day when you're like, oh, okay, I'll just keep moving forward. You almost have to stop because you've gotta make sure that you are,
are,
you know, that 10% fine to give them that 10% of what they need. Yeah. And I also think like our kids are all gonna witness it. My kids have witnessed.
you
know, as much as you can try and keep everything behind closed doors, they're still gonna see things. But I also remember, I you need to remember that you're building them as people. Yeah. And these little things happen and they little comments get made. Like something that Sienna said to you the other night about you seeing you so happy.
Yeah. Like, because we were all over and we were just having fun and Brooke just was like herself. She was like, Yolo, I'm jumping in the pool in my dress.
[:[00:27:29] Samara: You know, and we just had dinner together and you know, a dance dance party. A dance party. Yeah. And then you kids see that and then they remind you of those little snippets and then you're like, okay, that's who I'm, I'm, I'm, I realize this and now I'm gonna tune back into that.
[:that
Having, you know, you, you guys there and just feeling normal again for a minute. Really like changed everything.
[:[00:28:05] Brooke: I've kind of forgot about everything that I had to think of because at the time I, the rest of the time I'm thinking like, you know, I have to sell my house. What's gonna happen? What, what's gonna happen to my kids? Like, you know, my stepdaughter lives full-time with me, so I dunno, you know, there's all these things that could go wrong or could go right.
And it, yeah,
[:[00:28:24] Brooke: that
[:of
[:[00:28:29] Samara: You stop. Yeah. I think anything you're going through that time, step out of the really hard for a minute and step really hard into joy or you know, yeah. Rely on the people that can bring you a little bit of joy and, and, and it needs to be in moments that you don't even realize that someone's gonna bring that.
Yeah. Can't, you can't be like, okay, who's gonna make me happy today? Yeah. It has to be like allowing those people being vulnerable enough to allowing those people in so that you can have those little, well,
[:We were like broke
[:[00:29:00] Brooke: Sorry, everybody there asking me where Ryan was, because that's like hard.
[:[00:29:05] Brooke: You know, everyone just keeping on, you don't wanna go. I'm not gonna blab it out to everybody, but also obviously people are gonna be like, oh, where's Ryan today? And I don't wanna make them feel uncomfortable, so I'm like, oh, he is just not here.
And then I'm like, oh, you know, you just dunno how to say that. But yeah, I was there navigating that with all the dads at the footy and then. You were sending me pictures at my pool
[:[00:29:28] Brooke: I got
[:Like her home is, we walked in there 'cause we haven't been in there for a little bit. And we walked in and I was like, how did you transform this house? Mm-hmm. Into this like, there's walls in places. I was like, I am confused. Is this the same house? But she has this ability to make everything feel like this, like really beautiful, lush space and you've done lots in the house, but the girls were like, ah, mom, Arnie Brooks pulls an AI pool.
Like, and I walked out there and I was like, I, I don't even know how you got the vision for this and you've just built this like beautiful com. My children are obsessed with you. And they were just like, you know, we drove home and wild. It was like, that was the best night of my life. Like, you know it's funny when you've got those like deep friendships, it doesn't matter.
How much time's passed you, your kids are so connected. Yeah. And your, you know, your homes are connected and everything just feels like that, you know? And it's in the simplest things, Brooks, like, who's who? I'm making everybody's lunches. So then the kids thought that was a fat time. 'cause I had Auntie Brooks lunches for their lunchboxes the next day.
But I think in the midst of, of anything that anyone's going through, I think we also have to remember through those weeks. It's can be the littlest, smallest pockets of time. It was a random Wednesday night.
[:[00:30:50] Samara: and the kids had the best time. And I think we leave Joy when we're business owners.
Yes. Like, we're like, okay, we've just gotta get to the weekend. And on the weekend we'll do fun things. And you know, the kids see that. But it's like yolo. It's a Tuesday night. Who cares? Go to your friends house. Joy can
[:[00:31:05] Samara: time or its, and pizzas and you know, put the kids to bed an hour later. You know, the night that Lee and I met was at Brook's house very randomly like that.
And the kids, they're all those memories that they remember. I think we get so caught up in like running businesses, having a schedule, doing all of the things you do. And then I've noticed that. And then you just like, let that shit go for a minute and do those little moments. Yeah. And you're like, that was the funnest thing of our week.
[:And, and while that is still what I really wanted to do, when you become a single person, you kind of look at the things that, you know, the joyful things. Mm. And like saying yes to your friends and being around your friends, you just forget, like you might do it because it's one person's party or birthday or whatever, and then you don't do it.
And then when you are a single person and you can just do whatever and you know, someone's not at home waiting for you to get home or whatever, you just, I don't know, you just lean into all of that and say yes to more things. And even this weekend on the, on the whole weekend was like booked out solid because I didn't want to sit at home and I didn't wanna do any of that stuff.
And I just wanted to get out and.
you
know,
We even went to the basketball like, what is that?
[:[00:32:37] Samara: You just start saying yes.
[:[00:32:41] Samara: you just dunno when those,
[:[00:32:42] Samara: you also dunno when those yeses lead to
[:[00:32:45] Samara: exactly,
[:[00:32:46] Samara: A random Thursday night you meet yourself mate.
Yeah. You dunno, the yeses meet like lead to like, and or just, just nights of your kids being like, oh, thanks mom. That was just the
[:[00:33:00] Samara: Yeah. Yes.
[:[00:33:08] Samara: routine of life.
[:[00:33:25] Samara: Yep.
[:And I was like, what? I'm not eating. That's why I'm skinny. I'm stressed outta my eyeballs. That's why I feel skinnier. But I think it's just that you like, and then someone else said to me, so now, and the most random person said to me, you, what's your bucket list now that you are, you are, you can do whatever you want.
And I was like,
for
so long, I haven't even wanted to do like a vision board or a bucket list because I like completely different things to Ryan. We always have, but like, we kind of just, you know, found things together that we could do. But like, I wanna go overseas. He hates, he's never, he hates flying. Um, you know, all of these things that I'm like.
He doesn't, he hates the beach. I'm obsessed with the beach. You know, like he loves the mountains and I do not. It's just, and you try and make that work, but then when you actually get asked that and it's, you know, you can do things for you now, it's just, um, yeah. It's like a whole nother, it's like I just got a new life.
[:[00:34:30] Brooke: you can chooses whatever you want. Now also
[:[00:34:34] Brooke: you're have to wait for someone else
[:[00:34:37] Brooke: Mm.
[:[00:34:44] Brooke: Yeah.
[:Mm-hmm. And I say that all the time. I said that to my younger brother the other day. Like, please meet someone that makes you a better person. Uh, I'm like, that's all I can wish for you, is that you meet someone who makes you a better person. If they don't make you a better person. Do not commit your life to that person.
Yeah. Because you need someone on both sides. I can look back and go, I didn't.
Him a better person.
[:[00:35:08] Samara: He certainly didn't make me a better person. No. Oh, I helped Megan. Look, I'm a bit biased on that point, but we both didn't have the tools to make each other a better people. I make Lee a better person. He makes me a better person.
[:[00:35:21] Samara: So, but regardless, even without Lee, I knew that my life was gonna be different because you can make different choices.
[:[00:35:28] Samara: You
[:[00:35:38] Samara: yeah.
[:[00:35:39] Samara: I feel like too. You, like you've said with all the things when we're like, oh, trauma, get something else. I very much lived that for so long that you're like, oh, something else happened, so I need to put something else on top so that, that's where my focus is. 'cause I look at the space between while being born and, you know, all my friends were going through this with me at the same time.
It wasn't like, you know, I remember those. Those 12 months and being in hospital and all of with you when he was born and all of the things. But you look back and, you know, salon Rising was birth when Wilder was birth. And I was like, was it because Wilder was birth and I changed when he was born? Or was it because I was so broken, I needed other things to fill my time so that I Yeah.
Could fill my time up with things so that I didn't feel so broken and then all of a sudden you, you can have a moment. I think that's why it's so powerful. You now, for you, now that you're like, no, I'm, I'm actually not gonna add anything else to my plate. I'm gonna be really comfortable with the uncomfortable and sometimes, but also with the fact that I now need to go into things slower.
Yeah. Like, you know, at that point with the business, I had to pull back completely. Yeah. 'cause I was raising the kids on my own. So, you know, no late nights, no Saturdays, all of these things. Yeah, that all, I never worked Saturday days, but all of these things that change you because you're like, I actually am. I can't be committed to these areas that distract me from that not being great. Yeah. I've now gotta be committed to my kids and they have to be first and foremost. And so your life develops differently because it's not wholly and solely based around a business.
[:[00:37:11] Samara: You would've felt at those times, you just add more to the business so that it distracts less from the life.
[:[00:37:17] Samara: Yeah.
[:[00:37:27] Samara: Yeah.
[:Like we just rub together. Yeah. And that's all I feel and see. And I just, it's not because we're two bad sticks or broken sticks or whatever, it's just that they, honestly, we just make each other. Just, we literally just make each other turn into a fire.
[:[00:37:55] Brooke: Yeah. And I think that even we both know already that we're more calm, more everything.
My kids are way more calm. Everyone just can feel it.
[:[00:38:06] Brooke: Yeah. I think. Yeah. And I'm excited to, someone said to me the other day, you, what are your hobbies? And I was like, I don't know. I just work and I look after my kids. That's it.
[:[00:38:20] Samara: drive the buggy
[:[00:38:22] Jen: Brooke, and I'll come and support in that way.
But can we please make sure it's an air conditioned buggy and Sure outfit, we can have cute golf outfit, outfits, outfit.
[:[00:38:31] Jen: That's what I said this morning. I was like, I like what you're wearing. I feel like this would look really cute for me for golf.
[:[00:38:37] Jen: Yeah,
[:[00:38:42] Jen: oh yeah, yeah.
I'm starting at the driving range. Anyway, we can get into the semantics of the golf later. But yeah, hobbies, man,
[:[00:38:50] Samara: really like this idea of like, I didn't know where this podcast was going, but I really like this idea of like. You know,
you
know,
for anyone, you do not have to be going through a marriage breakup for you to take outta this.
It's what are you doing to bring those joy moments in between a hundred
[:[00:39:06] Samara: mom and business. It's because you forget so that you forget that like those moments are the best moments. That moment last week of being at your house and just randomly it happening. And we are spending all day together.
And Brooke and I have always laughed 'cause we go from like periods where we are like, don't live without each other. We live in each other's pockets for a good period of time. And then we don't see each other for like 12 months. Yeah, 12 months
[:[00:39:28] Samara: Well we didn't really see each other much.
[:[00:39:34] Samara: um,
but yeah, it's,
[:[00:39:41] Samara: teenager. In the middle was the teenager and my mom and dad broke up. So anyone that actually thinks about, think about that, think about. Your two best mates who are married to different people that you hung out with randomly.
If you weren't with one couple, you are with the other couple
[:[00:39:56] Samara: one or the other. So she wasn't with with us, she was with them. So this is my partner and his ex-wife. But somehow the two never did meet?
[:I don't know how that would happen, but,
[:[00:40:10] Jen: then,
[:[00:40:12] Brooke: and then they broke up. They didn't meet each other? No.
[:[00:40:15] Brooke: Just to clarify, which we've never
[:[00:40:18] Brooke: And then they broke up separately, kind of at the same time. And I was just like, oh, this is not, this is like a lot.
A couple of friends are gone. You what? You, yeah. Because that is your couple friends. And then it was like, you know, you moved into a different house. They moved into a different house and there was like four, then there was like, you know, all three friends, um, that I had to, that I was like trying to look after and next minute.
They were together. And
I
thought my other friend was gonna be, you know, angry that I had set that up or whatever had happened. She thought she didn't set it up, but she didn't. I, I did not. She did
[:[00:40:53] Brooke: And she is the best human. She's the best also. So I, um, yeah. And then I also remember saying to you, don't date DeLee.
Just be best friends with Amber.
[:[00:41:09] Brooke: just not, let's just do that.
Amber
[:[00:41:11] Brooke: can't we all just have
[:And I think a lot of it also for both Amber and I were really lucky because we had this mutual friend that Brooke would, was like, she's awesome. And then to Amber, she'd be like, she's awesome. So we already, there was no animality met and Lee's also awesome. And Lee's also awesome. So there was no animosity when we met.
Yeah. So like, I already knew she was this wonderful human. So for me, I was just like, I just need her to like me and I just need to do the best by her because you also have this like deep respect for my friend that I'm like, I also don't wanna make her life hard. Yeah. But even in that, like, it was incredibly gracious, you know?
I remember gonna Brooke and being like, you know, like, I went the next day and I was like, so your friend put his number in my phone and Brooke's like. Nah, no way. And she just didn't speak to me for like, 20 minutes. We're like vision boarding. And I was like, I don't what to do anymore. And then Brooke is, oh, I'm ready to speak about it again.
Let's go. And she was like, gr. And I was like, it's not gonna be anything. I just feel really, you know, comfortable with him. You know, this is like the first time I will date someone, so it'll just been like, it'll just be like a fling Brook's. Like I bet you I'll be standing at your freaking wedding one day.
And I was like, it's never gonna happen. And then I was like, three months later we moved in together. Sorry babe.
[:[00:42:29] Speaker 10: but
[:[00:42:55] Brooke: Yeah.
[:[00:43:08] Jen: are you missing out on connection?
[:[00:43:11] Jen: You are missing out on connection by saying no to things
[:[00:43:14] Jen: Yeah. And connection is awkward and uncomfortable. Yes. Like just you have, oh, I love it. To just do something, you know?
[:I feel like I thrive off connection.
[:[00:43:32] Brooke: does. I think, yeah. I think that everybody should be a lot more
connected. Yeah.
No,
I do.
Because I think that that that stems from everything. Yeah. Like, it really does make everything better. Like I was saying, I wasn't talking to anyone about, um, you know, my breakup.
Not, 'cause I didn't, I thought anyone was gonna judge. I mean, there probably is a lot of people, but just because I just didn't, I just didn't know what to say, to start the conversation or, you know, whatever. And as soon as you do, you just feel so much better. Yeah. Everybody is like, oh look,
[:[00:44:06] Brooke: shoulder and then the next you really need to, and you think that you don't need that, but you really do.
And even like, you know, me being the strongest person and everybody being like, oh, she, she would never get hurt and you know, she doesn't have feelings or whatever. I feel like everyone says
she
[:[00:44:25] Brooke: I don't, I do have many feelings, but I don't cry and I don't, I'm not like, you know, I am not really soft.
So I feel like you
[:[00:44:34] Brooke: Yeah.
[:[00:44:39] Brooke: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I also think that, I know that everything is a lesson. Yeah. So I'm not really mad about things happening or me being upset. I know that everything that I feel and is gonna and does happen is gonna end up better.
Yeah. Like, I just have always known that it's a growth moment. I've always thought that. Yeah. I, I, even if I'm in it, I know that it's gonna be better. So, or like, even if it's not better, I've learned something from it. Yeah. So that I'm better. Um, so yeah. I think that Mm.
[:[00:45:14] Brooke: It is. I, I think it's,
[:[00:45:16] Jen: can finally make a vision board now?
[:[00:45:27] Jen: Yeah.
[:I don't know what I just.
just,
That and, um, swim, bioluminescent water.
[:[00:45:36] Brooke: I have always wanted to do that, but see, these things I wouldn't have been able to do with my ex, you know? So that felt weird. I'd have said XI always said partner. Um, so yeah, things like that. Just thinking about what I could, golf could be an option.
[:cool, when are we going to do that?
[:I'm
I, that's, yeah, I've wanted to do that forever. But see, you say things like that and then if your partner or maybe your best friend or someone doesn't wanna do it with you, you wouldn't do it.
[:[00:46:16] Brooke: Whereas now I'm like, okay, well I'll find someone that will do it. Yeah. Not a partner, but you know, like someone like that wants Jen. Jen,
[:[00:46:24] Brooke: Jen's coming.
[:[00:46:26] Brooke: an adventure. You know, so you just vocalize what you want and you just make it happen a bit more. And then everybody comes more around you, I guess.
[:[00:46:33] Brooke: Mm. You
[:[00:46:36] Brooke: So differently. And it's not, and I guess that probably looks bad to the person that you maybe left. Do you think? Like, I think that they would be like, oh, you weren't that fun when I was with you. Or, we never did that on a Wednesday night when I was with you and now you're this fun person.
But it's, yeah.
[:[00:46:57] Brooke: I am the
[:Like
random day that we went for lunch and then we ended up at the day bar and then we ended up in some random pub
[:And we would dance sing with random beam with no teeth.
[:And you'll be like, yeah, come over. And then we were like eating pizza and the kids were eating ice cream outta the ice cream tub. And it's like those little core memories that are like,
[:[00:47:43] Samara: They're the things that make you like your life.
Light up.
[:[00:47:47] Samara: And I think it's, you can have these things in your business as well, like, you know. Yeah. There's moments I come to work and I just laugh all day. Yeah. And you know, I'll get home and Lee will be like, you're so lit up today from what you do, or you meet this client that's just like connection and all of it. If I look over my job for the whole day and look what I do is all about connection. If the connection is
so on
with
So on with my team, everything's so filling. It's so on with my, you know, my clients. I'm like, it's just like, it's the entire, you know, pulse, the lifeblood of, of your life like that.
[:[00:48:21] Samara: Yeah.
[:in
The, the walls make it feel like it's nothing else exists. Mm. And it always does for me. And everybody keeps saying to me, just go in the salon, you'll feel so much better. And I'm like, yeah, I can't. I can't. But I know when I, you, even if I'm having a bad day and then I go in the salon, it's not, nothing's bad.
Mm. Like nothing happens. But it's because of all this energy around you. Like my team is bigger and then each of them have a client or three each. And then there's a lot of people in the salon and it's just, and you've, you've just gotta be on and you've just gotta think of something else. And everyone's, you know, so supportive and everything when you are in there.
And yeah. It just feels really empowering. And when you go come out, there's been so many times where I've left the salon and been like, whoa. Lucky yeah. I could go into there because imagine just going to sit by a computer.
[:[00:49:28] Brooke: You know? Whereas we just get to like, and
[:[00:49:32] Brooke: Yeah. I would know.
[:[00:49:44] Brooke: Yeah.
[:Are you okay? Or, you know, like, do you need anything? Or do you just need a cuddle? Or just like, what does that look like? Because the connection is sometimes what can change the, the client's life, your staff's life, whatever. That hundred percent.
[:Well, because you don't ha you don't have someone, you don't, you're not talking about that.
[:[00:50:21] Brooke: happening with you. Yeah. You about them. Yeah. Yeah. Or you're just, you know. Yeah. I think it's so much the whole thing in just having a salon is just so empowering when you feel like.
When you feel like everything outside is bad, I think, but
[:[00:50:46] Brooke: Yeah.
[:[00:50:47] Brooke: Yeah.
[:[00:50:48] Brooke: it
is,
[:[00:50:52] Jen: Yeah.
[:[00:50:52] Brooke: hundred
[:[00:50:55] Jen: I do think it's important to talk about the hard absolute. I think it's important to talk about the hard
[:[00:51:04] Jen: but like,
[:[00:51:10] Brooke: Yeah.
[:Yeah. You know, our businesses. Can save our lives in points where we don't think we'd get through. And all of a sudden you're through it and you're like, oh. But I think like anything, you know, we're so quick to say, Ugh,
Of
staff left. Or someone just, someone's wondering about, this is hard. Someone doesn't like that.
Or, this is hard. Or That is hard. But so often too, on the other side of it, we've gotta just be deeply grateful for, for what we have.
[:[00:51:50] Samara: Yeah. Yeah.
[:it's
[:Let's have another one.
[:[00:52:04] Samara: You know, like the hardest thing I've ever done, let's have another baby.
[:[00:52:17] Jen: Yeah.
[:Mm. Or even just the fact that no matter what happens, we've always got our. Like our own craft and career.
[:[00:52:40] Brooke: You have a purpose.
[:[00:52:41] Brooke: Yeah, yeah. And you do have a purpose everywhere, but just, even just the fact that you in that point have to show up for your client or for your team or whatever you, it just getting out of bed and knowing that you have to do that for someone else, forces you into that. Yeah. And then once you're there, it's so, so good.
But yeah, it's the connection. It's just connection.
[:[00:53:13] Brooke: 11. It's 12th year this year. Mm.
[:[00:53:17] Speaker 2: if
[:[00:53:21] Speaker 4: I
[:[00:53:24] Samara: Nah, that's the best bit about you.
Um,
[:[00:53:30] Samara: you look at it as an overview of someone that who say is going through trauma and decides to open a business. Mm. Like what are your, what are some, like if you look at it, what were some key learning points for you or some key takeaways that would help somebody else in business or, you know, even with what you've gone through over the last 12 months.
[:[00:53:54] Brooke: months. Yeah. Yeah. I forgot. I was like, what are you talking about? Now I know. What are you talking about? Yeah. Um, yeah, we have, I think just have the most, the biggest thing is to have a good team or a good person, even if it's just one team member.
To be next to you to go through that with, because I would never be able to go through it by myself. Obviously we have our group and I talk to them all the time, but your team just knows everything that's going on. If you don't have that, I feel like it's really hard If you were a solo person, I think you definitely need some kind of group, like, you know, to be able to talk to about it.
And it, it does actually have, like, I, it helps so much being a hairdresser.
[:[00:54:42] Brooke: Like it, you can talk so much differently to a hairdresser, they just get it so much different.
And
[:Mm. And Jen's the same and. None of this is about competition for us. Like there's plenty enough to go around, which is weird. So if you don't have that, it's like reach out to somebody who's in, who you admire, reach out to someone that's in that vicinity. Because I think the other thing that makes it really special is that we all know what's going on because we're also close in vicinity.
It's not like I've got a best friend in Melbourne, but then everything go. Yeah, it does different. You know, like I think it's really. When you have someone that's here, you know, that's someone that can show up on your doorstep, someone that can sit with you and sort something out. Or you know, someone's like, let me just take you for a coffee, or whatever that is.
Sometimes it's just, or just being in person with them and venting and then you walk away feeling so much better. If you don't have that, find that, but find it locally. Yeah. 'cause the same with your team. They're in it with you. Sometimes you need that face-to-face stop. It does make a different, you know, so often we, I listened to something the other day about connection and you know, someone's dad dies and you send DoorDash instead of showing up with food or
[:You know, I feel that so deeply at the moment.
[:[00:56:08] Brooke: And do you know what? It's
[:I have. Even if that person doesn't respond and I'm never doing it to get a response, I'm just doing it to be like, she called, she loves me. She's just checking in. Yeah. 'cause that's what it is every time. But rather than being like, it's so much easier just to send a text message and be like, I'm just gonna send a message, like, show up in different ways and put yourself out there to love somebody else.
Don't just do that via like, Hey, hope you're okay, because that's not what pulls people out of of tough times.
[:[00:56:41] Samara: it's not. So I just hijack that, but I just
[:Because I guess you probably do think about, um. More who shows up for you and who sort of just sends a text or who hides because they don't know what to say. And maybe I was like a little bit of a hider because I didn't know what to say and I'm like, oh, they'll be okay. And it's so not the case. Like I can think of 10 friends that have found out and haven't said anything to me, you know?
And I just feel like that's not it. Whereas, you know, four of my friends dropped their whole day. One called in sick and showed up on my doorstep when I begged them not to. So like, those people in that tough time are always gonna be, you know, you never forget that. Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
You just, yeah.
[:Mm-hmm. Like that's how I wanna be remembered, is the person that shows up even. And sometimes it's hard, it's sometimes it's really hard taking yourself out of. What your already busy life, there's so much going on, you're doing juggling so many things, but like the whole point of this life is impact on other people and how you can Yeah.
And love and have that connection with other people.
[:[00:58:07] Samara: But I think it's the same thing for our team. You know, if your team's going through a hard time, how can you show up in a different way rather than just being like, text, I'm here if you need, I hope I'm okay. How do you show up in a different way so that they know that, you know, if they're really sick and you know they're really sick and you're pissed off because it's hard, but they're also freaking out 'cause they don't wanna be sick.
How can you send them something? Or how can you just show up for the, or check in
[:[00:58:35] Samara: Yeah.
[:[00:58:36] Samara: like less of you and more of others. Yes. Is something that I'm learning a lot, like less of me and more of, of, of you.
[:It doesn't have the same anything when you're in a shitty place like. It doesn't feel the same as someone rocking up to your house or calling you a million times until you answer, just to make sure that you are, you know, and, and it probably does feel uncomfortable for you as the friend to try and have that conversation and hear that and, and hurtful too.
Like, your friend's hurt when you're hurt, right? Mm-hmm. So they're like, oh, I don't wanna feel that. But yeah, you really just need to put yourself out there and just actually, yeah. Watch and watch out for the strong ones, because I think everybody just goes, yeah, they'll be fine.
[:[00:59:30] Brooke: And they're the, they're the not okay ones.
They're the
[:[00:59:33] Brooke: deepest, well, the ones that like brush it off and keep going are the ones that need the conversation, I guess. Yeah.
[:Spurred you to being like, who do I need to reach out to? Because I listened to a podcast that said that, you know, it was like, your task for this week is to
[:[00:59:53] Samara: Call, not text, show up, show
up.
I think it's hearing those, those words for me was, is massive. How can you show up for your team in a different way?
How can you show up for your clients in a different way? Mm. Even with your clients. That might be a a, you know, we were talking about in the last episode how a client, after I finished her hair, reached out and sent me this message saying, thank you so much. Like, I love everything about today. And I was like, that meant more to me than what I can say for my entire week that I impacted someone like that way.
But how can we do the same for our clients? Like there's nothing stopping us from reaching out to a client that we had loved and just saying like, thank you for spending your time with me. Yeah. Thank you for being vulnerable enough. To share that story with me.
[:[01:00:32] Samara: Yeah. And we, we have businesses that are all about connection, yet we forget that the connection is the most important.
It's not the hair, it's not the beauty, it's not the eyebrows. It's all about how you can connect with somebody else so that that person feels seen in a world that's getting lonelier because of technology.
[:even
in your business, you try and like push that over to the staff and the team, but realistically, you don't realize, I think you realize that, or we all say it.
You know, your celebrities have like, oh, they've got so much, um, power over people to make them, you know, feel whatever, and they should do whatever. But really we do too.
[:[01:01:21] Brooke: Everybody does. Yeah. So like, just knowing that and, and using it when you can is so important. Even if you haven't been through the same experience, just like having that empathy.
[:[01:01:33] Brooke: And just trying to understand or connect or making them feel heard is so important. Yes. Yeah. Feeling seen is huge. Huge.
[:[01:01:56] Samara: agreed.
[:[01:02:05] Samara: but also just do it with so much grace
[:[01:02:07] Samara: exactly. Like do it with so much grace and so much heart. Like I definitely was not there
some of
days. I'm still not. Um, but sharing it with such grace and such heart because it is, it is such a journey and anyone that understands this, like, and so many of us do.
Understand what that feels like when you're trying to raise babies and raise businesses and then personally move through so much.
[:[01:02:35] Samara: Mm.
[:[01:02:41] Samara: Mm.
[:Nothing does. Like I was talking the other day about when, um, a couple of my staff left at the same time and it killed me. Um, and then, you know, I think that all of those things, I'm not angry at them. Maybe I was for a day, but just knowing, and also the fact that most of my staff have been previous staff.
I've got three staff members now that have left and then come back. And then another one just asked me for a job this morning. So I don't, I think just don't, like not closing the door. Yeah. And not being so angry and not being so like, you know, if that's their journey, then that's their journey. And then if they wanna come back or if you wanna, you know, you never know what's gonna come.
[:[01:03:27] Brooke: There could be so many things. You
[:[01:03:30] Brooke: They do. I do. Yeah.
[:[01:03:32] Brooke: It's 'cause they just miss me. No, they do. It's just because I think that Well, that's the thing. You've gotta let them go. Yeah. And I mean, you know, asking any of them why they're coming back, it's just because they, you don't realize what you've got or what, you know, you, and maybe it's the different time of,
[:[01:03:51] Brooke: experience all, all that.
Yeah. Experience it. It might even be the different type of your life.
[:[01:03:55] Brooke: Um, and you are, you personally need something else or whatever that the business or the team or the leader can't give you. And then you realize that you're in a different space now. Like, you know,
[:I was over it like three seconds ago. Like, she like will marinate on it for like 10 seconds and then she'll be over it. And I think having that type of friendship with you and I'm like this and you're like, yeah, and then I'm over it within like 10 seconds. Yeah, you have this, but it allows people to stay within your realm because you don't stay angry.
No. Like you're like, oh,
let
go and let God, let's move on. Yeah. Like, and I think that's a really beautiful quality inside of business because it's hard for us because we get so emotionally attached, but being able to have that friend that's like, oh babe, this. And you're like, oh yeah, I can move on from that.
Cool. Thank you. Help me switch out of that. Yeah. I think you have this really beautiful ability to do that and not hold, I try
[:[01:04:50] Samara: things. Well, you don't hold onto a lot of things man. Your friends started dating and you were still my best mates, so, um. And Amber's as well. Yeah. Um,
[:[01:05:00] Samara: have to, I just have to learn how to, Amber, she should come on one.
She, we'll have the co mom conversation. That's
[:[01:05:08] Samara: Amber's probably like, absolutely not. Um, we'll have Brooke here. We'll make still a whole thing. Um, but, you know, but that's what you want, right? Like, I, I want that period co-parented beautifully
[:[01:05:19] Samara: your relationships.
[:With my ex. So I wanna do that again. Um, and I just think it's so much easier. Like, why would you wanna be sitting at, I don't know, in years to come your, your kids' wedding and then they're getting married and you're angry at your, I mean, you know, my parents did that to me. I didn't wanna do that to anyone.
I want them to be happy.
[:[01:05:45] Brooke: Everyone, everyone is just on their own journey. They're just doing what they. What they think is right. And like we said before, even the husbands that aren't getting it, when you are plain as day, you know, sending them reels, telling them and sending, sending them whatever, telling them text messages, phone calls, like all this, I'm like, there's no other way that I could have got through to you.
Yeah. I said it every day for 12 months when I was trying, you know, I feel like they, it's just
[:[01:06:12] Brooke: Just happen to be a different journey when they, when they're ready to know which is now, which is too late. That's fine. It might be, it's already, yeah, it's, yeah. And you are gonna learn from Yeah, that.
Exactly. Exactly. And I'm gonna learn from that. And you know, maybe not to hold on for so long, but they will learn to listen to the next person or, yeah. Or just, you know, maybe the kids will learn not to, you know, hold on for so long. Or to give grace where it's needed.
[:Thank you. Love you. I feel like this is definitely a six month. We need to come back and sit. Where are we babe?
[:[01:06:54] Brooke: order.
We'll just, I'll just be like, yep, we did it.
[:[01:07:06] Brooke: friends
[:[01:07:13] Brooke: you darling. Thank you.
